The Mindful Migraine

A while ago I saw a note on social media that went something like “I hope that every time I am misdiagnosed or medically gaslit, doctors all across the world stub a toe and suffer intense pain”.  I confess similar thoughts have crossed my mind from time to time; there’s something very relatable about feeling misunderstood or unseen, and wishing that others might finally understand your pain if they experience it for themselves.

However, even though I’m all for supporting Team Migraine and all my fellow ‘sickos’ out there – I just DON’T feel that level of animosity towards doctors.  Sure, I’ve met one or two that haven’t been worth the wait or the cost, but having lived with so much pain, I’d never wish it on anyone else.  Never.

At the risk of sidestepping and sounding strange – bear with me – when I was growing up, there was a lemon tree outside our bathroom window that acted as a natural air freshener.  I’ve always loved the bright and happy look of those pops of yellow.  It’s probably why I’ve always loved the saying “if life gives you lemons make lemonade” – there’s something so simple and retro-pleasant about it.

On the internet there’s plenty of different versions of this platitude, including “if life gives you lemons make lemon cupcakes”… or “grab a friend and a bottle of vodka”… or “go Karen-mode and ask to see life’s manager”.  I’ve also seen “if life gives you lemons make grape juice and keep everyone guessing how you did it” or “make the lemonade, and then sell it to all the people whose throats have gone dry from complaining.”

The one that really jumped out though was: “if life gives you lemons – squirt them in the eyes of the people who make you miserable.”

It made me do one of those snort-laughs where no actual laughter comes out, but you do a sort of ‘hurrumph’ regardless.  Again, I recognized that bitter streak that’s so relatable but not really helpful. 

Feeling bitter really isn’t going to make you feel better.

I once heard a career coach refer to the negative voices in her head as the “itty bitty sh!tty committee”.  I’ve got one of those in my mind that tends to come and go.  I think it’s those committee members who get a laugh out of the ‘squirting thine enemies in the eye for an eye’ approach to humor.  I know those committee members are there, but I try not to give them too much airtime.  I think of them as a bit stale and cranky, disappointed by life but not motivated enough to make any changes or improve their lot.  I almost feel sorry for them. 

If life give you lemons in the form of chronic pain, I’m not going to tell you what to do with those ‘lemons’, but I am going to suggest that kindness usually beats cruelty, and you CAN get creative and come up with your own better-bitter-beater… something like: “if life gives you lemons, put a slice with ice in a compress and give it to that doctor who stubbed their toe.” 

I don’t know.  But I do know that bitter isn’t better.

Take care, Linda x

PS – I found a web post dedicated to lemon-loving quotes: 37 Funny When Life Gives You Lemons Quotes (shakejump.com)

PPS – Here’s Instagram and Twitter-X accounts that include chronic illness humor which you may (or may not) find funny: (@chronicillnesshumor) / (Instagram) & (@HumorChronic) / (twitter.com)