The Mindful Migraine

As you know, as well as blogging away, I also love reading other people’s blogs. That’s how I came across Jenny and her great blog “Miffed at Midlife”. In one of those nice moments of serendipity where you recognize a lot of similarities in how you think and approach life, she asked me if I’d like to write a guest post for her blog, and I said, “sure – and I’d love to have you on mine!”

And so it was! You can read my post here “warrior-or-worrier: why it’s not easy fighting chronic pain through perimenopause”, and you can read Jenny’s post right now:

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Hi, I am Jenny and I started my menopause blog, miffed at midlife, about 3 years ago when my catastrophizing, worrying and anxiety started to get really out of hand! I thought that writing about my experiences would help both myself and hopefully anybody who happens to read my blog. And whilst I can’t speak for others, blogging is the best therapy ever! And after Linda put a comment on my blog, I read hers, loved it, asked her if she could do a guest blog for me and vice versa.

So today, I want to talk about mindfulness and how hard it can be to live in the moment. But if we don’t learn how to live in the moment, then we face a lifetime of not appreciating what we have and of travelling through life so fast, that we miss all the beauty and wonder that life brings.

Hard habit to break

I am not gonna lie, I find it very, very difficult to be mindful. I go for hours as normal Jenny – stressing, rushing, worrying, catastrophizing etc. before realizing that my heart is pounding and I am exhausted from the frantic pace of my life. But the reality is, my life isn’t frantic. I don’t have any cause to be constantly chasing my tail. What am I actually rushing for? Why am I constantly giving myself tasks to do, within a deadline? Why can’t I just live in the present and not worry about what’s happened in the past or what’s going to happen in the future? And I am sure many of you are asking yourselves those very same questions.

Not living a mindful life, means that we don’t take the time to appreciate simple, every day tasks. Every morning when I am in the shower before starting work, my mind is going over all the things that I need to do that day, the week ahead, holidays in a years’ time, what Tracy from accounts said to me 3 years ago etc. And this makes my physical actions quicken up, so I am frantically washing, flinging my clothes on and hurtling downstairs to sit at my desk. Quite frankly it’s a miracle that I haven’t fallen down the stairs and broken my neck! I work from home with flexible working hours so why am I in such a hurry??

And my non-work life also seems to be carried out at break neck speed for no reason at all. I am rushing to sort out house insurance 2 months before it’s due, I am desperately going through my wardrobe to find an outfit to wear to an event that is happening in 6 months time. Why can’t I just enjoy the peace and tranquility of living in the moment? Why is it so difficult to change the habit of a lifetime, put your foot on the brakes and just slow the hell down?

What’s wrong with rushing?

We miss so much when we are constantly hurrying around. When was the last time you ate something and really took time to taste and enjoy what you were eating? I suspect, like me, when you are on your lunch break, you are wolfing your food down like it’s going out of fashion and as a result, spend the rest of the afternoon with indigestion! Or maybe that’s just me!! And when was the last time you really listened to someone instead of zoning out and thinking instead of what you were going to have for tea or how much work you have to do, if only this person would stop talking to you? Wouldn’t it be much better to just relax and enjoy the conversation?

And let’s face it, rushing around is actually really stressful. If you are constantly racing around trying to get things done but not succeeding, it can cause you to feel anxious and frustrated. And then the feelings of inadequacy kick in because you have not completed all the tasks on your list. The list that you have written for yourself, that nobody but yourself has given you to do. When has rushing ever made you feel happy? It just causes panic and a feeling of being out of control. Remember the Cadbury’s Bunny? She totally had it right! Why do we have to be like the Duracell Bunny?

Recognise and take action

For me, the key to getting out of this panicky behavior and living in the moment instead, is to recognize when your mind is wandering to the past or the future, and to bring it back to the present. When I find that my mind won’t switch off, I actually say “stop”, aloud, followed by an explanation of why I should stop, such as “Ok, so you forgot to send that email, so do it tomorrow. You are at home now, enjoy it.” If I am doing something simple like washing up and my mind is racing, I try to identify that I am not being mindful. I am not thinking about what I am doing and am doing it on autopilot. Don’t get me wrong, my mind could be galloping away for at least half an hour, if not more, before I realize, but recognizing it and stopping it is half the battle.

Find something that helps bring you back to the present

One of my favorite quotes about mindfulness, is “Walk as if you are kissing the Earth with your feet.” by Thich Nhat Hahn. When I first read this, I spent most of the day gliding barefoot around the house with a benevolent smile on my face. And every time I felt myself turning into “charge around the house at 100 miles an hour as if I have something very important to do” Jenny, I thought of this quote and started gliding again, thus slowing down my body and mind. So once you have recognized that you are not being mindful, find something that keeps you in the moment, even if it’s only for a short while. Happy gliding!

Practice makes perfect

Throughout the day, I try to tell myself to concentrate on what I am doing at the present time and find joy in it. “But Jenny”, I hear you ask, “how do you find joy in doing something like the washing up?” Bloody good question! And a few years ago, I would have struggled to find an answer. But pleasure can be found in the most mundane of tasks. Just the fact that I am physically able enough to wash up and I am in a safe, warm house is a wonderful thing in itself. Scraping the barrel? Maybe, but it’s the simple truth and it doesn’t have to be elaborate.

And I say, I “try” to, because I am constantly having to remember to do this. Like I said, it can sometimes take ages for me to realize that I am rushing, rushing, rushing but I know that the more I keep up this practice of stopping myself, the better I will get at being mindful.

And, the good news is, that I am starting to recognize when I am thinking of the past and the future, and I am stopping myself. When I am hurrying in the shower, I try to slow my actions right down so that I am not scrubbing my hair like someone trying to rid themselves of nits. Instead, I try to shower mindfully, finding pleasure in what I am doing and enjoying the sensation of getting clean. So although, I have a very long way to go in the world of mindfulness, I am a bit closer to it than I have ever been before. And that makes me very hopeful for a calmer future.

How do you practice mindfulness. Leave me a comment, send me an email – jenny.mac1@outlook.com, or message me on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100086628755113 

As always, thanks so much for your support.

And remember

“The mind is just like a muscle – the more you exercise it, the stronger it gets and the more it can expand.”
― Idowu Koyenikan

Until next time

Jenny

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Like I said, Jenny and I think A LOT alike!

Thanks Jenny for your words of wisdom!

Take care everyone, Linda x