I’m feeling a little grumpy today. The story starts with me going onto the computer to look at flowers. It’s springtime here in Australia, and in preparation, I recently planted a gazillion seeds only for the vast majority of them to wash away and drown after we received a months’ worth of rain in three days – and – since I refuse to be defeated, I went online to consider what other flowers I might try for round two.
Long story short – for the first time in a long time, I found myself on Pinterest.
After looking at fabulous flowers, I typed “migraine” into the search field to see what new fandangled ‘fun’ might pop up… and I discovered SO MANY images that included text promises like: “never get a migraine again” with the giant text overlaying an image of a weeping woman, or “try this migraine-disappearing trick” and “fix your migraine in 5 minutes!”
WOW!
Who wouldn’t be tempted to have a look?
Well, silly me, because it goes back to that age old saying: “if it seems to be too good to be true – it probably is”.
I clicked the link, and all it did was take me to an ad-heavy site where if you so much as moved your mouse, you’d accidentally open an ad and generated some income for the owners. The text that was in between all the page-wide-ads was generic nonsense (sorry not sorry) possibly generated by copy-paste AI. Perhaps even WORSE, after leading you to the site with the promise of a 5-minute-cure, their advice was to apply a cold compress to your forehead for 15 minutes.
15 minutes?!?
What happened to 5?!?
Oh, but that’s not all! Their other save-the-day recommendations included resting in a dark room with a glass of water… no joke. If you kept reading through the bland nonsense (sorry not sorry), there was some more generic information, this time about deep breathing and rubbing your temples.
YAY!
I’m already starting to feel instantly cured forever!
And if you made it all the way to the bottom without activating an ad for Viagra, nail-fungus-remover or belly-fat-melting-powder you were rewarded with a large montage of images that included this (cropped) screenshot:
[Image source: better not say]
And it makes total sense, because everyone needs to track their progress using… whatever the heck that is… combined with the help of a little hand-held SNEPRE HOR.
Hmmmm…
Now that I’ve calmed down (a little bit), I feel a bit mean.
Shame is never my game, and calling out other people’s websites feels like a low blow… but… if you’ve ever lived with chronic pain, you know just how much you DON’T want to live with chronic pain… and how much you’ll do (almost) anything to get rid of that pain (such as worshiping false idols (but not blowing ozone up your woo-hoo (both here))).
For ‘research purposes’, I investigated a few of the sites, and it’s not that they were really BAD… the advice wasn’t wrong or dangerous as such… they just felt LAZY.
On one of the websites the “Quick relief” tab led you to a blank (mercifully ad-free space) that included the words “nothing found”…. which pretty much sums up the site… and their approach to authentic advice.
The sites weren’t specifically predatory (they weren’t selling supplements for example (don’t get me started)), but they just weren’t really offering anything more than false hope and a bazillion links to “hilarious not safe for work photos” and bizarre offers to “get rid of parasites fast” or “cure baldness with cola”… all wrapped up in a never-ending scrolling realm of repetitive click bait images that left me feeling strangely dirty… and depressed.
UGH.
The more of the Pinterest image-links I clicked, the more I realized they were returning to the same few sites – they had basically spammed Pinterest with their enthusiastic “I cleared my migraine without pills” wavy-bubble-font and then all led to sites that offered the same content as the previous post with its life-changing advice regarding a cold compress and hot coffee… although sometimes, sadly, the playdoh SNEPRE HOR love-heart was missing.
I’m starting to sound snarky and that’s not me.
Besides – it wasn’t all bad news. There was one image that led to a ‘real’ site that included an article about improving your sleep and another that gave some recommendations about what essential oils to mix: my go-to oils of lavender and peppermint were included, but they also added frankincense and wintergreen, and since I had never heard of wintergreen – I actually learnt something.
According to Wikipedia, “wintergreen” is a type of plant (we don’t seem to have in Australia) whose leaves and berries are both used in traditional medicines – in fact – the oil that is extracted is so strong, “One milliliter (20 drops) of wintergreen oil is equivalent to […] almost six regular-strength adult aspirin tablets” and can be considered toxic if ingested. The pale yellow or pinkish oil is aromatic with a “sweet, woody odor” and is used in perfumes. Because it can also have a minty edge, wintergreen can also be found as a flavoring in toothpaste or chewing gum.
Now I’m imagining using wintergreen to make pain-relieving-mouthwash for those days when nausea is a problem!!
So – hooray!
All was not lost.
I may yet become a migraine-mouthwash-entrepreneur!
Now that I have an imaginary fresh and minty flavor in my mind (weird I know), I’m not feeling so growly.
As for the flowers – I’ll have to check whether they’re direct sow in Spring or Autumn, but I’m loving the Lobelia varieties because of their intense purple-blue flowers. Fingers crossed I can raise these little babies and make a mini-blanket of blue sweeping across my lawn!
Sorry about my rant – enjoy your weekend and…
Take care taking care, Linda x
PS – to show you that I’m now feeling positively radiant and magnanimous, here’s an AI image of Lobelia and Wintergreen mixed together to make you a bouquet. You might notice I then added some healing cut-and-paste SNEPRE HOR for good measure – may this mental image carry you through the upcoming weekend, come what may:
The Mindful Migraine 
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