I’ve been thinking a lot about how I might seem like Nero, the Roman emperor who supposedly played his lyre while Rome was burning in 64 AD. How can I write about such small things when the world around us is falling apart? “Why don’t you read the paper in the morning Linda”, you might wonder, “there are so many more important things to talk about than hydration.” I agree. And I don’t. I did the whole doom-scrolling of the news every morning for years and years, and it didn’t go very well for me.
I think that ‘the world’ and ‘the individual’ are two ends of the same piece of string. When an individual acts, they have the potential to influence the whole world, and conversely, the issues which take place in the world undoubtedly influence the individual.
When I was younger and looking for ways to reduce my over-thinking habits and extreme introversion, I turned to some self-help guides that recommended ‘outward leaning’ habits such as compassion and attention, as well as gratitude for what you already had. To this I added ‘experience’; I could try to imagine myself in someone else’s situation, to walk a mile in their shoes, as it were. Combined, I realized that the answer out of my shy-cage was the anacronym CAGE: Compassion, Attention, Gratitude, Experience.
The downside to this heightened empathy was that I often became overwhelmed by other people’s problems. I found it too easy to imagine what they were feeling in a situation, and I got increasingly upset about all the stories that related to the plight of individuals and the collapse of the world in general. I began to develop a sense of dread about the supposed risks of day-to-day life and a fear for the future. For years it was normal for my daughters to come into the kitchen in the morning and find me sniffling over my cereal and the iPad I was reading.
One example, from about a year ago, I remember because it upset me three times over. It was a story (apologies to all involved if I get it wrong) about a school bus driver who was fed up with kids fighting on her bus. When she pulled up at the school, a young boy verbally abused her as she asked for him to calm down. Instead of opening the door for the kids to get out, she locked it, and called the police to come and assist. As someone who was often the only female on a construction site, I’ve been pushed and shoved, spat on and had people refuse to shake my hand. Reading the story, it was not hard for me to imagine myself hitting the button in exasperation.
But then I watched the video that accompanied the story, and I saw the distressed little kids at the back of the bus crying in confusion. I remembered what it feels like to be a pawn in other people’s games. Then, as the parents began trying to pull kids out of the windows and thumping on the door, I had no problem imagining myself in their position, frustrated and fearful for my daughters’ safety. As the parents became increasingly angry, I flipped back into the driver’s seat and imagined the realization that I might have overplayed my hand. I imagined myself trying to decide how to resolve the mess, knowing that when I finally opened the door, it wasn’t going to end well for me.
I could relate to everyone in the story. Everyone.
And that’s just a story about a meltdown moment. It’s nothing compared to the scenes that are playing out on TV every night at the moment.
There are plenty of other people writing about world issues in an informed and intelligent way that I don’t feel I need add to. Moreover, I know from seeing who reads my blog (not specifically you, but your country), that migraine ignores boundaries, and you come from all around the world, and presumably from all sides of an ideological debate. If I support one side of an argument, I’m denouncing the other half of you. I’d prefer to stay neutral.
I accept that this fence-sitting stance may make me look weak, ignorant, naïve, or selfish. Know that I don’t look away. I’m not ignoring what’s happing ‘out there’, it’s just that, for now, what’s happening ‘in here’ is a priority, and participating in doom-scrolling-debriefing is not helpful to my health. If I had to guess, I’d say it’s probably not healthy for you either.
Take care wherever you are, Linda x
[PS – at the risk of again seeming to be ignoring the bigger issues and highlighting ‘frippery’, if you’re a fellow WordPress-blogger, you might be interested to know that WordPress seems to have included an option where you can “generate with AI” the feature picture for your text. I typed in “doom-scrolling” and am not sure whether or not it was a coincidence that the image included things referenced in the post, such as flames and breakfast cereal.]
The Mindful Migraine 
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