When I was at university, in my early twenties, I lived in a big share house. I can’t remember what prompted us, but one of my friends and I began to practice telling fortunes. She got very good at remembering what all the cards in the Tarot deck meant, whilst I preferred the tactile earthiness of Viking Runes. I had a beautiful set of clay rocks that lived in a red velvet bag that I loved reaching into to withdraw ‘my fate’ in the form of a rock that says ‘warrior’ or ‘growth’ carved into it.
We tended to treat it all as something of a party trick or parlor game, something you’d do to pass a spare hour or entertain houseguests. We never went full mystic mode, no turbans or incense or witchy-poo-hocus-pocus-focus. Nonetheless, we minded our manners with it, as it were. We knew enough that we didn’t know enough, and felt that we should exercise a bit of caution, show a bit of respect. Who wants to tempt fate after all?
One night, our most sceptical housemate muttered something rude under his breath as he walked past. We encouraged him to come back and pull a card from the Tarot deck. He refused. We said we’d each pick one out too; “don’t be scared – it’s no biggy”.
Long story short, we two young ladies drew ‘boring’ cards, but the young man drew ‘death’. After we assured him we hadn’t rigged the deck, we apologized for ruining his night, and tried to pack up. I think my friend and I were more shaken than we let on. He said, “let me go again”, and normally we would reply “that’s not how this stuff works,” but we felt bad, so let him go again. Without a word of lie, we shuffled that deck like crazy, but when he pulled out a card, there it was again: ‘death’.
I can’t remember if alcohol was involved, but I do remember that by this stage all three of us were almost in tears. This was definitely NOT the lesson we were trying to teach our skeptical friend.
Needless to say, he did not die that night, or any time over the decades since. I texted him just the other day, and he’s 60-something years old and as happy as a clam.
Many years after that not-so-fateful night, I was in my early thirties and going through a bad patch. The company I worked for went bust, my boyfriend left me, and I was worried about losing the place I was living in. It was a triple-whammy disaster. As I was dragging my heels home one afternoon, I saw a sign for a Tarot reader. Don’t ask me why, but I went in. She read my cards and (don’t laugh / cry) said “You need to spend Christmas Day on a beach in Hawaii – on your own – and then everything will be better”. Remembering that I live half a world away in Australia, I’m going to give you a second to guess whether I said yes or no to this ‘message from the universe’….
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I went. To the horror of my parents who claimed they couldn’t recognize me anymore, I pooled my savings and flew to Hawaii. It was a lonely, cheap, bad-weathered Christmas holiday, and half-way through the trip I found out that the travel agent I’d given my money to had gone bust, so I had to pay for the holiday twice.
Yep.
But before you judge me and the universe too harshly, over the next few months, I sorted out my apartment and got a great new job that led me to my future husband. A positive-trifecta.
I’m not advocating Tarot cards to save your pain – I’m not really a big believer. What I do believe however, is that healing your pain can be a messy affair. Sometimes we can harness the energy of the universe, read the signs, seek out the help we need when we need it, and sometimes everyone helps us back. Sometimes, however, they don’t. Sometimes we read too much into the wrong things, ask the wrong people for advice, or follow our hearts instead of our heads. We’re human after all. All we can do is keep doing.
If I could imagine one of those Tarot cards in my hand today, it would probably be The Fool. The picture is of a snazzily dressed dude prancing through sunshine towards the cliff’s edge. The card is actually more powerful than pessimistic. Its reading is ‘new beginnings’. The Fool is on his way into a new future, to have a new adventure with his bag, a flower, and a trusty dog at his feet. The cliff in front of the Fool reminds us that if opportunities remain daydreams, then, lost in our thoughts, even our yappy dog might not save us. If, on the other hand, we watch where we’re going, then our possibilities are unlimited. I’m OK with this. New beginnings always come with new risks… and besides, I’ve always loved his frock!
Here’s hoping the fates align for you today and every day.
Regards, your friendly fool, Linda x
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