“You can’t lead a horse to water” is an old saying, which I’ve never fully understood. Why would a horse be so reluctant to be led towards water? I’m guessing it would be very difficult to convince a horse to stand in a patch of stinging-nettles and thorns, no matter how hard you try… but get a drink of water?
Anyway, who am I to judge – I’ve never owned a horse. I suppose the point is, external motivation, even towards a good thing isn’t as effective as internal incentives.
When my neurologist told me I had to make lifestyle changes and take up mindful activities such as Yin Yoga and meditation, (and then threw in cardio workouts for good measure), I was NOT impressed. I wanted a solution to my pain, not a To Do List. He was trying to help, but I was not interested in being helped on his terms. He was not going to lead me to the water, as it were.
I often think back on that pivotal meeting (because I didn’t know it at the time, but it was the butt-kicking that I had been waiting for to get out of bed and start healing). I get that I was bitterly disappointed that he wasn’t handing me a magic-pill or an easy-as solution, but what was it about his advice, or his delivery, that annoyed me so much that I went home kicking and screaming? He moved a little faster than I would have liked as someone with a sore head, but it wasn’t impossible to keep up. He wasn’t condescending or rude, and he certainly didn’t resort to ‘mansplainging’. Nothing he was suggesting (perhaps other than the cardio) was so far beyond reality that I should have been frustrated.
“When the student is ready, the teacher will arrive,” is another old saying I’ve heard a gazillion times before. This one makes a bit more intuitive sense to me, but again, doesn’t sit entirely right. I doubt that every single day of the years that I was sitting in a school classroom, I was always open and ready to learn, and yet the teacher always turned up. Of course, I understand the saying is supposed to be taken more existentially than literally. The teacher can be physically present without imparting knowledge if the student remains deaf to the lesson.
In the podcast conversation I had with Roi Shternin (here) he said something that made sense to me. It was something to the effect of “I finally got sick and tired of being sick and tired.” Something inside him was fed-up enough to decide to change. One day, he just woke up and his internal lightbulb had its eureka metaphor.
(Mixed metaphors galore in this post – I’m sorry.)
Had Roi gone to the meeting with my neurologist in this mood, they would have had great success together.
My epiphany came hours after my visit to the neurologist, around 2 or 3am in the morning. I reconsidered his advice and decided to take it. The very next morning, I too, decided I was sick and tired of being sick and tired and decided I was going to start healing myself.
Whether you want to be thought of as a student or a horse, either way, nobody can MAKE YOU start your self-help-healing-journey. The only person who can initiate true healing is YOU – not your doctor, neurologist, partner, therapist, Yoga teacher or this blog… just you, with a conviction, and determination, deep, deep down… you. All I can do is let you know that I’m here, on the sidelines, like a coach or a cheerleader… committed to seeing you succeed, prepared to stick around as long as you need me.
So, in case you’re still not sure whether you’re ready to learn to heal (or drink more water!), I’m going to leave this picture for you to think over. [If for some reason the picture doesn’t show up at your end (it happens sometimes) – it’s my healing-mandala logo plus a big green-for-go-push-me-button, which combined, equals “mindful mode initiated”.]
If you do decide to push the button, know that this is just the first of many actions YOU are going to have to take. Its not going to be easy… it might take awhile… but it will be worth it, and there’s plenty of people out there who are ready and waiting to help you – including me.
Regards and best wishes, your cheerleader and true-believer, Linda x
PS – if you do need me, feel free to jump onto the contact page.
PPS – If you’re interested in joining me for a zoom-hello THIS WEEKEND – the dates are Saturday 9pm (Sydney time) on the 20th of July & Sunday 9am (Sydney time) on the 21st of July, and the zoom meeting is:
Meeting ID: 771 515 8379
I asked there to be no password – but it’s saying the code is “Lind@”
Meeting 1 link: https://us05web.zoom.us/j/7715158379?pwd=c9ko71j136vV35PQNDB7sQgJHnv7JN.1&omn=89779762279
Meeting 2 link: https://us05web.zoom.us/j/7715158379?pwd=c9ko71j136vV35PQNDB7sQgJHnv7JN.1&omn=81923346788
Hope to see you there. xx
The Mindful Migraine 
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