The 30th of July is (apparently) International Friendship Day. I’ve already recently written a lot about friends ghosting, coasting and boasting… so instead, today’s post is about making friends with, and celebrating, yourself.
Both times I was pregnant, I didn’t find out whether I was having a boy or a girl. Strangers gave me advice based on my shape and ‘how I was carrying’, and someone once did the ring-on-a-string trick over my big belly. Everyone always said, “it’s a boy”, (yet both times I had a girl!) While I waited impatiently to meet my children, I wrote love letters to my babies-to-be. I filled the letters with hopes and dreams and well wishes. I put the letters in envelopes that I had made from colored cardboard and hid the envelopes in a drawer to gift them to my children when they turned 10.
Each year I wrote another letter and included photos, ticket-stubs, party invitations, and broken jewellery chains, thereby turning each envelope into a miniature time capsule. When they turned 11, they got the envelope of their 1st year. When they turned 12, their 2nd year and so on. I stopped after 10 years, figuring they’d be 20 by then, and that was enough walking down memory-lane for anybody.
The reason that I’m telling you this, is that the process was addictive. Focusing on love and affection, remembering your pride and joy, retelling funny anecdotes and reliving favourite moments, writing about all of the good stuff was… good.
I think that you can do the same – but not for someone else – for yourself.
Write a love letter to yourself.
If you don’t feel a huge amount of self-love at the moment, I get it. Sometimes we all struggle with low self-esteem. But that’s all the more reason to write that letter of appretiation… that letter of recommendation… that letter of love.
If you’re still stuck on where to start, here’s some possible prompts:
+ I am filled with joy when I remember how you…
+ I am so proud of the way you…
+ Your greatest strength is your…
+ What everyone else loves you for is…
+ Everyone is so grateful to you for…
+ You’re a super-pro when it comes to…
+ Your friends value your…
+ I hope that your future is filled with…
+ Thank you for being you.
I’ve written the prompts as if you were writing to yourself as another person, but you can change the phrasing to “I am so proud of myself for…” Both approaches work. For some, it will be easier writing to yourself as another, and for others, it’s easier to write as personally as possible. You choose. The important thing is that you fill the letter with love – no judgement – no conditional statements, no sneaky back-handed compliments that carry the hint of an insult.
Just write love.
Then fold the letter up and put it in a safe place. When the time is right (you’ll recognize it when it comes) take that letter out and read it to yourself. See; you ARE loved.
Take care my lovely friends, Linda xox
The Mindful Migraine 
Leave a reply to Johnbritto Kurusumuthu Cancel reply