Ok, so I’m always ten steps behind the rest of the world when it comes to trends… I am what I am. But, the other day I came across the idea of “pebbling” and I fell in love.
Now, please don’t hold me to account if all of this is a hoax – I barely know an ostrich from an emu, except they’re both big and can’t fly… but as I understand it, pebbling comes from penguins…
Apparently sub-Antarctic Gentoo penguins, have a unique relationship ritual: the male gifts small pebbles to potential mates, and the lucky lady uses it to make a chilly, hard, nest… the more pebbles shared, the more love received… the happier the penguins become.
Here’s some real life pebbling from the Melbourne Sea Life Aquarium in Australia (kinda funny-sad that the cheeky males shuffle pebbles between piles to ‘impress’ via ‘cheating’ … so much to say, but I’m going to stick with – no comment):
Humans are less likely to be ecstatic about rock-giving (unless you count diamonds… or those painted funny-face-friends that we used to gift each other as 6 year olds)… but if you take the “pebble” on a more metaphorical level, then it can take on a more contemporary life…
On social media, “pebbling” involves sending memes and short films to your loved ones when you see something that reminds you of them… I’m guilty of it. I rarely look at Instagram Reels (I just don’t have time), but if I come across one about a mother drowning in the Tupperware she’s discovered in her child’s room, or having to drive at speed to school to drop off forgotten paperwork – I laugh – and then I send the short film to the daughter it reminds me of. They inevitably smirk and then ignore it, and then I send them another one a few days later about mothers whose children ignore them…
In a way, you’re building up in-jokes and rapport with your family and friends… you’re telling them, “I was thinking of you”, without saying a word…
Taken off-line, the concept works through post-it-notes left around the house, small acts of service, a home-made gift, a memento from a shared time together, a phone call out of the blue…
In a quick internet search to see if I was understanding the concept right, I discovered that the idea has been around for a while (I mean in terms of humans – I suspect the penguins have been going for a century or two without phones!) Apparently neurodivergent people who struggle with “traditional” forms of communication, use a form of pebbling to show their affection without relying on verbal responses.
Any small gesture of affection and attention counts. “Pebbling” has high returns from a small effort – it costs next to nothing to be nice to people!
[I think back to the cat we had as a kid, that used to leave us little furry rodents on the front doorstep as “look what I got you” wordless messages… thank the heavens that someone came up with “pebbling” as the trend-term not “mousing” or “purrr-fect presents”.]
Anyway – in times when you’re struggling to make sense of the world – try to pebble yourself and each other – gently, smoothly, kindly … no throwing allowed – we’ve got enough headaches around here as it is!
In a Psychology Today article they note that “Timing and moderation are key […] Sending 2,783 squirrel memes over the course of an hour when the other person is struggling to meet a deadline at work may not endear you.”
Anyway – you get the picture…
… and if you don’t, I’ll end this blog post with a little gift that I found in the Pexels.com image database:
Take care taking care cheepy-peeps, Linda xx
[PS – I’m going down the coast for a few days where the internet isn’t great – so if I’m slow to reply to your comments, it’s not because I don’t love you, it’s because I’m doing that weird dance where you walk around the house in circles with the phone above your head trying to find reception!!]
The Mindful Migraine 
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