When I was younger, I remember someone saying “ay-sap” and I had no idea what they meant. For what it’s worth, it was about the same time I read “LOL” on the bottom of an email and thought for a brief second the sender was sending me Lots Of Love. [It was only a heartbeat of a moment, but my mind went to some crazy places during that heartbeat trying to decide how best to handle this would be work-suitor… until I realized it (probably) meant “Laugh Out Loud”! LOL.]
Anyway – it eventually twigged that “ay-sap” was just the letters “A.S.A.P.” spoken as if they were a word.
Huh.
Live and learn.
For a long time in my corporate life, so much of what I was hired to do was required to be done ASAP, and on the whole, I took it in my stride assuming that was OK.
As I got a little bit older and wiser, it occurred to me that if everything was an emergency, nothing was. The idea of priorities withers away if everything has to be done immediately.
The problem of course, is that so many of the people sending me their ay-sappy messages firmly believed that their request should take priority over any other ay-sappy requests.
Again – if everything is urgent, then nothing can be truly, stand out, head above all the other shoulders, urgent.
So how do you handle a world that seems to thrive on ASAP?
You can either lean into it and do your best to respond. Accept the burden of all those requests and put your head down and your backside up and work like crazy to tick those boxes and please those people.
OR
You can gently push back, remind the sender that their request will be added to the long line of requests you have received, and if they believe they need to be promoted to the top of the list, perhaps they could have a word with the other three line-jumpers who are attempting to do the same thing and please, be sure to me know who won after they all duke it out.
OR
If you have a very bossy boss, then you learn what their motives are – why is it so urgent, and if you can’t handle it in time, remind them that perhaps someone else can do a better job in better time.
I can sense the eye-rolls as you read this, and I get it – I’m rolling mine too… some bosses are ok with workload redistribution if it helps them achieve their desired goals, others aren’t going to budge no matter how you negotiate the transaction.
[As a quick aside, I had a job once where I spent A LOT of time on the road driving between construction sites for my Project Management job. It was getting to the stage where I was driving early in the morning until late at night, and I was SO tired. One day I clipped a “stay left” sign in the carpark (which should have read “stay further left” to be fair). I had to tell my boss about the scratched side mirror on the company car, so I used it as a prompt to ask for someone to share some of the load. In all honesty, she handed me a box of tissues and a pamphlet for a counsellor (which sounds a bit like the bad doctor I once had) and told me to do my job or leave. (I started looking for a new job that evening, and about 2 weeks later I handed in my notice to her genuine bemusement.)]
Anyway – anyway – I have been thinking a lot about the notion of ASAP and how we might be able to reframe it. It was while I was pondering, that the universe provided, and I came across an Instagram post from Tiny Buddha:
Now, if I was to reapply these options back into my work days, I would choose “allow space and pause” and then “as sincere as possible” – I would take a deep breath when the next request landed in my in-tray and take a moment to center myself, ground myself, prepare. Then, I would proceed, knowing I’m doing the best I can in the time available. In the story above, at some point I guess I intuitively switched to “as sustainable as possible” and recognized that the overtime I was doing was not safe, and after trying to improve the situation, and realizing I couldn’t, I left.
When it comes to my present situation trying to heal my chronic migraine, I think that “as soft as possible” resonates most (for me). I try to be more like water than rock, less stoic, more flexible, more mobile, more adaptable… and all the time, gentle, grateful, generous… soft.
For me in this moment, there is no value in rushing, racing, pushing through, or over doing it.
I lived that life for a long time, and I think, in hindsight, it made me sick. It didn’t serve me well, and I’m not keen to return to that way of living again.
I’m trying a different approach now.
“Pears for heirs” is a quote that rings around in my mind some nights when I can’t sleep. It means that when you plant a pear tree you do so knowing it can take a decade or more to bear fruit – there’s no immediate returns, but the future will thank you for it.
“The best day to plant a tree was yesterday,” another quote goes, “the next best day is today” – although, that quote does have a hint of ay-sappy about it!
I’m not keen on being ay-sappy any more… just happy.
I’m going to nurture the little mind-body-soul-garden that is me, and it will grow and glow when it’s good and ready.
Take care taking care as you too bloom in your own way – “as steady as possible”,
Lots of love, Linda x
The Mindful Migraine 
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