The Mindful Migraine

OK – imagination time: pretend you’ve agreed to watch a horror movie with your friend. You’re not a huge fan of the horror genre, but your friend talked you into it because the movie is supposed to be ‘cerebral’ as well as ‘visceral’.

So here you are, seated in the dark, soda cup in hand, sneaking popcorn from your friend’s over-sized box. The ads are over, and the movie starts; it bypasses the credits, and in the blink of an eye you’re already in a car with 4 teenagers driving the backroads late at night… the car’s headlights don’t seem to be up to code because you can barely see anything ahead. The two lovebirds in the backseat are bickering, whilst the other two teens are flirting (badly) in the front. Randomly, the car radio turns itself on and some sort of banjo music starts playing. You know it’s a forewarning that things are about to get grim, and the teenagers seem to know it too. You’re all laughing together at how clever you are at anticipating drama when BAM!

The car hits something large and pale. You groan, along with everyone in the car and the movie theatre. You’re all convinced that the car has hit a person. The teenagers get out and discover that what they’ve hit is actually a deer. Everyone laughs nervously; guilty but relieved – it could have been worse. The teenagers drag the carcass to the side of the road… doing their best to avert their eyes from the fact that the deer’s leg is still kicking. You feel as ill as they look… reminding yourself this is not real – no deer were hurt in the making of this film… and yet… it all feels so real…

We’re all back in the car. Both the theatre and car are drenched in silence, as everyone wrestles with their conscience, wondering what they would BAM!

The driver slams on the brakes as a person suddenly appears out of nowhere on the road ahead. You laugh nervously as you realize you’ve poured soda all over your lap and your friend has tossed popcorn in your hair. You put your hand to your heart and tell yourself you can’t handle much more of this. You’re not alone, the dramatic near miss has everyone in the car and the theatre cursing, and then cursing louder when the person starts walking towards the car looking seriously unhinged.

From then on, it’s a roller coaster of adrenalin rushes and blood gushes. You keep telling yourself “it’s not real, it’s not real,” but your heart and stomach and scrunched up toes, don’t seem to be able to distinguish real drama from invented drama. You’re just as scared as the actor who’s running through the bushes or hiding in the basement of an abandoned lumberjack’s house… probably more so, because you don’t actually know what’s coming next.

Weirder still, even when “good things” are happening on the screen, such as when the two lovebirds are reunited and inexplicably find time for a passionate make-out session, still you can’t unwind. You’re coiled tense as a spring, trying to recover from the last jump-scare, waiting in fear for the next one. You can’t relax. You try to laugh at the lame jokes thrown in here and there, but they always seem to fall flat… you can’t find a way to get out of the gloomy mood of relentless dread that has overcome you, body and mind.

And then, 89 minutes after it started, the movie ends (not soon enough according to your poor beating heart, but possibly too soon to feel like you got your money’s worth). The lights come on to half-way and everyone starts leaving before the credits finish rolling. Everyone looks a little dazed and confused, battle weary even though they never left their seat or lifted a finger.

By the time you get home, the bulk of the movie is forgotten, the barely-existent character arcs ignored for a few debates about cinematography, whilst the majority of plot inaccuracies have been lost in the fog that filled half of the scenes, even though it made no weather-sense.

That night you sleep like a baby, and tomorrow you’ll make breakfast, vacuum your living room and go to work as always…

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In fact, this sort of fear-for-fun is a normal pastime for many people; whether it’s scary books, roller coaster rides or playing Hide and Seek when you were tiny… we love to feel a little bit of fear… provided we can turn it off.

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Ok. So why I am getting you to invest so much time and energy in imagining such an elaborate puff piece? Because, what you just experienced is a typical short-lived adrenalin ride. For those of us with a migraine-brain, whole days and weeks can feel like what you’ve just experienced. Sure, there’s no lopsided lunatics or banjo backbeats, but there IS nonetheless a relentless sense of low-level dread that seems to haunt our days.

There can be several, almost nothing moments, that still manage to create dramatic jump-scares (my daughters don’t even roll their eyes anymore when I scream as they enter the kitchen unannounced!). Through no apparent fault of our own, the “lizard-brain” of our nervous system and vagus nerve have switched from ‘rest and digest’ mood to ‘fight or flight’ mode… always…

Everything is a potential horror story…

…and every nerve-wracking event is the potential trigger for an overwhelmed nervous system; a threshold that has been breached…

Even migraines aside, chronic pain can gear us towards expecting the worst and having bodies that seem to be on a hairline trigger, ready to flip out at the smallest excuse.

For those of us who live like this – what can we do?

We have to have to keep practicing ways to calm down.

Not just Camomile-tea calm down, I mean deep inside calmness.

I use a method of talking to myself which I call the “CHARLES” method that has me repeat simple phrases over and over like a mantra:

I am Calm and Cozy

I am Happy and Healthy

I am Alert but never Alarmed

I am Relaxed and at Rest

I am Loved and Loveable

I am Empowered and Enough

I am Safe and Secure

Over and over, when I can’t sleep, or I sense stress seeping into my bones, or I find myself in a difficult situation, I repeat the mantra-affirmations… over and over… sitting straighter when I silently-mouth “enough”, dropping my shoulders as I say “relaxed”, smiling slightly when I visualize the word “happy”…

Try to learn how to use mindfulness to calm your nervous-nervous system down.

Try different short videos in my free Mini-Mindfulness course.

Try to train your brain to use it’s energy in a way that is more like a stable coal reactor… less of a super-sensitive nuclear reactor…

Try (you’re going to hate me saying this) to learn to “chill out” and “stress less”.

Try not to let everything feel like a scary jump-scare.

Try.

And while you’re trying, know that I’m sending you some chill-out vibes and healing power, because you’re never alone…

…unless you’re on one of those spooky, deserted, back-roads… in which case… why, just WHY?

Take care taking care, Linda xox