The car door opened and an old lady, dripping rainwater, jumped into the passenger seat of Ruth’s vehicle. Before Ruth had a chance to collect her wits and object, the stranger said, “take me to the hospital.”
Ruth glanced between the soggy stranger, the door-buttons that hadn’t locked as they should have, and the red traffic light at the intersection. As it turned green the lady growled “drive” and Ruth reluctantly edged her way into traffic.
“Now slow down,” the stranger said, “and move into the other lane and turn left at the next corner.” Ruth glanced the stranger’s way and noticed she looked a bit like her mother, only a few years older.
“Can I at least know your name?” Ruth asked. She tried to sound casual, but her mind was racing as she considered options and favored a quick exit at the next set of lights, even if it meant sacrificing her car, and its valuable contents, to the stranger.
“No,” the stranger said, “and don’t even think about jumping out at the next set of lights, there’s only one set between here and the hospital, and it’s always choked up, so you won’t get far before I jump out and grab you.”
“Grab me?” Ruth asked, “I’ve done nothing wrong, why would you attack me?”
“You need to be taught a lesson.”
Ruth felt dizzy with panic as she turned left at the next corner.
“Pull over here,” the stranger suddenly said, waving towards a car that was moving out of a parking space on the side of the road. Despite her intense desire not to, Ruth followed the instructions.
“Go into that shop and buy a chocolate cake,” the stranger said.
“I thought you needed the hospital,” Ruth sighed, “today’s a really important day for me, I have a presentation that could…”
“The cake’s for my granddaughter,” the stranger said as she opened her coat to reveal a large, wet, red stain all across her chest.
“What happened?”
“Just buy the d@mn cake.”
Ruth got out of the car and walked into the store, picked the first chocolate cake she could see behind the glass counter, and paid for it. She kept her back to the window hoping that when she turned around her car would be empty, and all of this was just a strange hallucination brought on by pre-presentation nerves.
Pivoting towards the door, Ruth groaned when she saw the stranger was not only still there, but had moved from the passenger side of the car and into the driver’s seat. Ruth felt a rage build inside her as she moved to stand in front of her own car and made a gesture which implied she was going to toss the cake box on the ground. The stranger fixed her with a glare through the rain-soaked windscreen and simply tipped her head towards the empty passenger seat.
Ruth climbed in and the stranger said, “put the cake in the footwell in the back there, next to the drawings and the cardboard model you made.”
“No,” Ruth said, “I can’t get cake on it. I need this the presentation to go well so I can win the client and get a promotion.”
“Just do what I say,” the stranger said. Ruth waited a few heartbeats, then got out of the car, slammed the passenger door shut, and climbed into the rear seat to balance the cake on her lap. “Smart @ss,” the stranger said and turned the engine on and started to drive.
“This isn’t the way to the hospital,” Ruth said soon after.
“No it isnt.”
“Am I going to die?”
“What?” the stranger laughed, “no! You’re just going to be inconvenienced for a while.”
“Will I make my presentation?”
“Unlikely.”
“Oh God, please… just let me drive you to the hospital with your stupid cake so I still have time to get to work and…”
“No. I’m unwell and I need your help.”
“Why me?”
“Why not you?”
“I’ve put so much time and energy into this presentation,” Ruth said, disappointed by the unusual whine in her voice, “it’s not fair.”
“Life rarely is,” the stranger said and then drove the car into a park with a large lake in the middle.
Ruth tensed again, fearful that the stranger was going to drown her for some inexplicable reason that was a secret to both of them. Instead, the stranger just parked the car to face the lake and asked Ruth to pass her the cake.
The stranger took the cake box out of Ruth’s hands, lifted the lid and started to pull a piece of the decorative chocolate icing off the cake. It looked like poo and Ruth shivered as the stranger placed it in her mouth. After the stranger took her third mouthful Ruth asked, “can you just give me a hint at what’s going on?”
“Did you want some cake,” the stranger asked, “it’s good… a little underdone, but tasty.”
“No,” Ruth said, “I just…”
“You haven’t figured this out for yourself yet? I know you’re a clever duck.”
“Ah… no.”
“I’m you,” the lady in the front seat said, “from the future… come back to get you to slow the heck down… for your sake and the sake of your future family.”
Ruth made eye contact with the lady in the rear-view mirror and there was a flash of recognition. She did indeed look like herself, only somewhat more, and somehow less. More-Ruth-less, she thought.
“What about my presentation?” Ruth asked.
“You’ll miss it,” the older Ruth replied, “and you’ll get sacked. Then you’ll get a better job at a company which you will eventually own. That’s where you’ll meet your beloved husband and the father of your children.”
“Are they the same person?” Ruth asked as her eyes flicked between the rear-view mirror and the view of the serene lake before her.
Her older self laughed and said, “of course he is.”
Ruth glanced down at the model and drawing portfolio at her feet. She knew she should be panicking more, but she also realized how super-stressed she had been for a long time now. Words such as ‘wound-up’, ‘burnt-out’ and ‘overwhelmed’ were an understatement for how she was feeling.
“Cake?” her more chill self asked again.
Ruth climbed out of the back seat, and moved toward the front of the car. She was pleased to see the older Ruth get out and move around to the passenger side. Ruth returned to the driver’s seat and relaxed a little.
“What about the blood all over you?” Ruth asked.
“It’s strawberry jam.”
“What?”
“We’ve been here before… last time I asked you to buy a strawberry sponge cake… you over-reacted and it ended messily… I assume you’ll comprehend when the time comes.”
“When I do this day again?” Ruth asked.
“Who knows,” the older Ruth shrugged, “we’ve never really understood the rules of the whole time-travel genre have we?”
“No,” Ruth replied, “we have not” and laughed at herself as she scooped up a handful of chocolate icing.
* * *
Hope you liked this strange little story.
Chronic pain often makes us feel as if our own self is hijacking our life at the worst possible moment. It forces us into a passenger seat (or the boot) of our being, interrupts our momentum, encourages us to do all sorts of seemingly insane things to keep us going, and makes everything seem… messy-sh!tty.
But our future self, if it could show up out of the blue, would undoubtedly suggest we slow down and relax a little… have our in-the-moment cake and eat it too… in all its raw fineness.
So – slow down dear friends, be kind to yourself, and take care taking care,
Love Linda x
The Mindful Migraine 
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