The Mindful Migraine

I’m a big believer in ‘the art of distraction‘ and know from firsthand experience that when we slip into ‘the flow’ of creating something (be it sewing, kiddy craft or a short story) we can forget about time, our surroundings, and most importantly, our pain.

I’ve also written in the past about the notion of ‘progress over perfection‘ and how, it’s better to dial down our expectations of ourselves when we’re feeling unwell. I say it a lot, but I’ll say it again – pat yourself on the back for giving something a go, and worry less about the outcomes: YAY YOU for trying!

(And that’s NOT ableism or me being condescending – I genuinely know from living with chronic migraine how hard it can be to get anything done on bad days and applaud each and every one of you who manages to get sh!t done when you’re sick.)

Because of my interest in both creative outlets to distract from pain AND the idea of loosening up and just having a go, I remembered a gift I gave one of my daughters years ago. It was called “Wreck this Journal”, and it was designed to unleash your creativity – messily.

Here’s a collage of images of other people’s journal pages off Pinterest, based on the page prompt “RUB HERE WITH DIRT” (and I’m not implying any of these are ‘ugly’ by the way (I think they’re all super-fab)):

[Image sources from Pinterest: Mach dieses buch fertig / Rub Here with dirt / We Heart It / wreck this journal / Wreck this journal / geïnspireerd door sesamstraat een kinder tv programma]

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Much more recently, I came across a blog called Care and Self Love and their post titled “The ugly art practice: Make something bad on purpose to calm down“.

The fun thing about Maya Wynn’s post is that it uses both the idea of creating art to shift your mood AND it encourages you to embrace having a go over getting it ‘right’.

There are 5 advantages the post suggests can be attributed to making ugly art: it interrupts you from ruminating; it provides your nervous system permission to feel; without self-correction you can truly relax; it shifts your physiological state; and it leans into playfulness which is a resilience skill.

They suggest you set out to intentionally create a piece of art which is ugly, reminding yourself you’re not making this for anyone’s approval (including your own), and that you shouldn’t ‘fix’ it as you go along. Lastly, you should stop before you feel the urge to make it ‘perfect’. As the blog post notes, this approach:

…interrupts overthinking and lowers the stakes fast. When you stop trying to do something “right,” your body often releases tension automatically. Ugly Art also gives your attention a physical anchor, like repetitive marks or texture, which can steady anxious energy and make emotions feel more manageable.

Ideas they use to get you started include (but are not limited to): drawing your inner critic, choosing the wrong colors deliberately, add nonsensical elements, intentionally use the wrong tool, and keep mucking around until you feel your mind quieten and your body soften.

I had a go at this task. I set myself 10 minutes, grabbed a piece of printer-paper and used the pens, highlighters, colored pencils (and a flat-battery) that were on my desk. Here’s what I ended up with:

[Image source: me]

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OK… so it’s nowhere near as glamorous as those artistic journal pages above – but that’s kind of the point.

I started with the scowl-face of my inner critic, then gave her a stick-person body and a blood-red shadow (that was sort of draining out of her). I instantly felt the need to give the shadow a red flag, which (meddling-me) then wanted to correct in the stick-figure, hence the white flag of surrender coming out of an elbow. Then there was a flotilla of speech-bubbles and thought-bubbles which turned into rain clouds. I’m not sure why, but I imagined her pontificating from on-high, so she ended up with a mountain beneath her feet, which in hindsight (poignantly) looks like a pile of poo. I even tried using the flat-battery on my desk to add more marks (you can sort of see the silver-lining up in the top right corner) – it was ineffective yet strangely rewarding. Because my inner critic’s eyes are all cranky and screwed up, she’s not seeing all the glittery good things at her feet, nor taking time to smell the roses.

I then remembered my ‘taking out the trash (talk)’ post, and scrunched the picture into a ball of rubbish for good measure.

And YES – I did feel myself slip into the flow, and just go with it.

And YES – I did still fall into old habits (green grass / red roses, for example) partly (perhaps ironically) because I was trying not to over think the process!

After I had taken a photo of the image for this post (sharing is caring!) I scrunched it back up again and put it in the recycling bin, in a “bye-bye-b!tchy-critic” move that felt as good as when we told my daughter to put her fears in a “banish bucket“.

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Returning to the Care and Self Love blogpost, I want to do a quit shout out for their idea of how different art techniques, with different “friction levels”, suit different moods. I have never thought of art and craft this way before, and always assumed I was just gravitating to what was on hand (which I suspect is still true) – but now that I have read their idea, I can see the sense in it.

For example; if you feel anxious and over-stimulated, pick an art style that has low friction, such as thick crayons or markers with which you can make fast movements and receive quick sensory feedback. If you feel sad and tender, choose a medium friction, such as colored pencils, gel pens or watercolors, and adopt a slower pace that allows for gentle emotional processing. Lastly, if you feel numb and disconnected, use a method with higher friction, such as painting or collaging, approaches which are more textural and hands-on and encourage sensory input to help you return to your body.

It’s interesting, because I suspect I do long stitch, which requires slow, repetitive actions, when I feel a bit fragile, whereas I do things like the kiddy-craft cut-and-paste collages when I feel more hands-on and energetic… hmmm… something to think about…

Funnily enough, I just remembered my long stitch that I made after asking for word suggestions from you guys nearly 2 years ago – far from perfect, it felt therapeutic to sew it. Here it is, with the word “IFFY” in front of my healing mandala (sort of):

[Image source: me]

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Anyway – I like the idea of ugly art – try it in whatever way works for you.

Good luck if you choose to have a go!

Take care taking care, craftily, Linda x