Quick shout out to you, or anyone you know, who is going through ‘the change’. Today’s post is a reminder that although there is a lot of doom and gloom coverage out there about menopause (and perimenopause), there are also some powerful points worth remembering.
My migraines slipped from occasional to chronic during perimenopause. I have no doubt that the crazy surging hormonal glitches were partly to blame. That’s why it’s easy to hate on this stage of life and start grumbling.
In the same way that I wondered what the evolutionary benefits of migraines might be that allows them to still exist in our genetic code, I have also wondered about menopause. I didn’t go specifically looking for an answer, but I did accidentally come across one.
OK, so full disclosure, I do occasionally indulge in some mindless scrolling on my phone. I prefer reading or meditating, but occasionally, I find myself searching for an image or idea, and time gets away from me, and the algorithm takes me down rabbit holes. Not proud, but not going to lie about it either.
Today I came across an Instagram reel about menopause – here: Instagram
For those of you who can’t open it, or don’t have the time or inclination, I’m going to write out the summary. Go along with it, and then I’ll tell you what my google check-up confirmed:
+ Female animals have the power to create life through reproduction.
+ There are only 3 species of animals on earth that go through menopause, and thus end their ability to reproduce.
+ Humans are one, elephants are another, and killer whales are the third.
+ Not only do these females go through menopause, but they also generally live longer than males.
+ That means, for the last quarter of their lives, these big-brained animals are taken ‘offline’ in terms of reproduction and live out the years as grandmas.
+ What is the evolutionary benefit of grandmas, that could be even more important than creating new life?
+ The answer is: education.
+ You age, you raise a family, and with all the experience and wisdom you have gained, you help others raise their family.
+ Childbirth is dangerous, so Nature takes us offline to take away that risk and help the community retain knowledge.
+ Grandmothers exist for the evolutionary purpose of passing on wisdom.
I love this take on things. I’ve heard about the ‘wise woman era’ vibe before and nodded along. This, however, feels like scientific proof that life post-menopause is not ‘over’ it’s just a new beginning. Intergenerational-education and collective-wisdom is powerful, and we older ladies are a big part of that magic.
Me being me – I wanted to know if all this was true. The wisdom part I’m totally on board with. But is menopause really that rare?
Turns out, the answer is – yes.
Menopause is very rare in the animal kingdom.
That said, there may be a few more species to add to the lecturer’s list.
NationalWildlifeFederation.org says that most female animals don’t live long after their reproduction ability stops. They suggest this includes elephants (contrary to the advice above). In terms of menopausal animals, they add orcas, beluga whales, narwhals and possibly chimpanzees.
The article mentions the idea is called the “grandmother hypothesis” and was proposed by the anthropologist Kristen Hawkes from the University of Utah in the 1990s.
I decided not to go looking deeper. Let the warm and fuzzies remain. I like the idea of grandmother elephants imparting their wisdom to the herd, and that we can too… even if we’re not grandmas… yet.
For one last pivot, I want so share another Instagram reel I found: Instagram.
Here’s the main idea: somewhere in the world right now is a stranger who remembers you. You might have given them a complement, are in the background of their favorite photo, or just made them smile when they overheard you laughing.
Equally importantly – you’ll never know about it.
The point is: stop worrying about making a good impression or living life to please others – just be yourself – you’re already memorable enough.
Here’s a screen grab of the life coach finishing her mini-TED-talk about how your life has ripple effects even when you’re not aware. While you’re just living life, other people are noticing your kindness, your laugh, and your f*cking YOU-ness:
Don’t believe it?
Then reverse the situation.
Think of a time when a stranger made your day or changed your perspective. Perhaps they offered a helping hand or a smile that lifted your spirits and took the edge off a difficult day. Maybe you looked at someone and thought; I wish I had her confidence, her handbag, the book she’s reading…. and maybe that motivated you to go get it. If you think long enough, you’ll remember someone. Perhaps several someones. How many of those strangers did you follow up with, send a thank you card or stay in contact with? Even if it’s zero – the power of the interaction remains the same – they made an impact on you and your life.
That’s why there’s a high probability that as you pass through this life – YOU made an impact on someone ELSE without ever knowing it.
That’s pretty cool.
You don’t have to do anything different, more, or harder. Just keep being you, and remember that even small points of contact with others can make a lasting impression.
Keep being amazing peeps!
Take care taking care,
Linda xx
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