Being provocatively polarizing… or not.

Published by

on

As well as blogging about my healing journey to reduce my migraine-days and increase joy in my life, I am also (hopefully) in my final year of completing a PhD, I’m the primary contact for my daughters’ school communication, AND I sometimes help my husband with things to do with his business. As a result, my email inbox is filled with a truly eclectic variety of subjects.

Very occasionally I receive a newsletter from a marketing ‘guru’.

A while ago I received one that made me a touch uneasy from the get-go. Mr Guru advised that one of the best ways to create solidarity within your readership is to make a joke that deliberately ‘crosses the line’. He suggested that in the next article you publish, you include a ‘joke’ that mocks a group of people for their idea of success, achievement, or approach to doing business (and by extrapolation, I’m guessing that perhaps appearance, race, wealth, (dis)ability and so on, are also ‘OK’ subjects of choice).

Once you make your joke and hit send, you wait for the replies. Some readers, Mr Guru said, will hopefully ‘bite’ and reply with “hey that’s a bit rude” or “I normally agree with you, but I think you could reword it to be a little less offensive”. Good! says the guru. Now – double down. Reply to the replies with “it’s just a joke dude” / “what, no sense of humor huh?” / “chill out man”.

This ‘polarize-to-be-popular-approach’, he says, has disadvantages and advantages. The downside, he notes, is that you might lose a few readers. Conversely, the upside is ‘so cool’ because those who don’t unsubscribe are going to admire you for speaking your truth and standing your ground.

When people do leave you, Mr Guru says, well then, “good riddance” because they weren’t the “right people” after all; they don’t get your sense of humor, so they don’t align with you or your business… who needs them!

I thought about adopting this approach here, on my blog, for… hmmmm… a nanosecond, and then decided, NO THANK YOU.

I’ve written before about body-shaming, and my belief that it is NEVER alright to mock others. The idea that making fun of people for ‘likes’ or ‘loyalty’ turns my stomach. I 100% believe in helping others, and that even if I only have the power to make a difference in just one person’s life, that one person might go on to help another, who helps another. How wonderful that there might be an invisible ripple effect of kindness that flows out from a single good-will moment!

I’ve been alive for over 5 decades, (some of which were “so last century” as my daughters like to point out) and I don’t know a lot about plenty of things, but one thing I suspect to be true is that we have never needed a ‘provocatively-polarizing-approach’ less than we do right now.

I acknowledge that opinion is probably, well, polarizing.

If you are reading this and thinking “geeze lady, lighten up”, know that I DO have a sense of humor, however, the last time I had a belly-laugh at someone else’s misfortunes was probably when I was 7 years old.

If you are reading this and thinking “any minute now this hippy-chick is going to encourage us to all link hands and sing Kumbaya,” know that I can’t remember many of the words to the song, but that I AM already envisioning a digital get-together sometime in the future (maybe monthly, starting in mid-July) where we can all see each other in real time and offer support to each other, with or without music. Moreover, I can’t tell you with enough enthusiasm how much the idea brings a smile to my face!

If you are reading this and thinking, “I’m open to helping other people and lifting them up… so long as they’re the ‘right’ people”, then know that I completely understand why you might want to unsubscribe from my blog. Know that I won’t be thinking ‘good riddance’, I will genuinely be sorry to see you go, and I hope, with all my heart, that your people are waiting for you wherever you go.

Take care people, and dare I say it, “be kind and inclusive”, Linda xox


Discover more from The Mindful Migraine

Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.

34 responses to “Being provocatively polarizing… or not.”

  1. Astrid's Words Avatar

    What we present and express to the world shouldn’t be devised for personal gain. Though we get assisted in whatever way through sharing, it’s beneficial to all to naturally share. How people react is beyond our control and there’s no purpose in adding that worry to the plate when we’re just trying to be our best.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The Mindful Migraine Blog Avatar

      So true. xx

      Like

  2. Ashley Avatar
    Ashley

    I whole heartedly agree, Linda. Making jokes at someone’s expense is never “cool”. I can just imagine what type of person this “guru” was in high school. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The Mindful Migraine Blog Avatar

      I just laughed out loud!! I never thought about who he was when he was younger, but you’re exactly right; his approach screams “bully!”… makes me sad that what was so uncool in school might be ‘management material’ now. Thanks for stopping by, it’s always so lovely to see new names here. xx

      Like

  3. motionmasquerade Avatar

    “…but one thing I suspect to be true is that we have never needed a ‘provocatively-polarizing-approach’ less than we do right now.”

    I couldn’t agree with this sentiment more. Our society (in my humble, and often disagreed with, opinion) has become too tribal. Us vs. them mentality, I believe, is one of the biggest obstacles we face on a lot of fronts — politics, education, religion, social services, health care — and it’s doing us more harm than good. If we could all learn to listen more and talk less, to be more compassionate than ego-driven, and to care for one another just a little more… well, that would be a good start in my book. I’m with you, Linda-Lady!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Stacey Avatar

    and congratulations on finishing your PhD!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The Mindful Migraine Blog Avatar

      I’m not there yet – I’ve written the dissertation, but still have to get it approved by the examiners! But thank you in advance – I’ll take all the good vibes I can get!! xx

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Stacey Avatar

    Linda, I completely agree with you! So many marketing techniques promote division and I refuse to use them for that reason. Good for you for following your inner compass and staying true to yourself.

    Thank you for stopping by my blog and sharing your thoughts. Have a great day!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The Mindful Migraine Blog Avatar

      You’re so welcome; you’ve created a great space on the internet! xx

      Liked by 1 person

  6. joannerambling Avatar

    Body-shaming and saying hurtful things to people is horrible and I hate it and I will never understand why people get a thrill from doing it. I was on the receiving end of it for too long, maybe that has something to do with why I am always trying to be non-judgmental

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The Mindful Migraine Blog Avatar

      I was on the receiving end too, so I know why it’s no good… but even if I hadn’t copped it, I was still brought up with enough manners to know it’s wrong regardless. That said, being non-judgemental is still hard to do all the time, so hats off to you for being a great person! Linda xx

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Ruth Avatar

    I’d give up on the guru, and stick with being kind, no matter what 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

    1. The Mindful Migraine Blog Avatar

      Yeah, let’s just say I put some of his advice into immediate practice and unsubscribed, content not to be part of his tribe! Xx

      Liked by 3 people

      1. motionmasquerade Avatar

        Love it! 😂

        Liked by 1 person

      2. tanjabrittonwriter Avatar

        I would have done the same!

        Liked by 1 person

        1. The Mindful Migraine Blog Avatar

          🥰

          Liked by 1 person

  8.  Avatar
    Anonymous

    I hate people who do that, so I won’t be the one thinking you’re uptight!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. The Mindful Migraine Blog Avatar

      Thank you – I’m so glad ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  9. mchelsmusings Avatar

    I’m so happy you decided against.
    Keep being your authentic self! 💜💜

    Liked by 2 people

    1. The Mindful Migraine Blog Avatar

      It wasn’t a very long nanosecond of consideration – I just can’t imagine mocking people – life’s too short! xx

      Liked by 2 people

      1. mchelsmusings Avatar

        And you don’t seem like a mean person.

        Liked by 2 people

        1. The Mindful Migraine Blog Avatar

          (Except to provocative marketing gurus – oops!)

          Liked by 2 people

          1. mchelsmusings Avatar

            😂

            Liked by 2 people

  10. Johnbritto Kurusumuthu Avatar

    Bravo, Linda! Your post is a powerful reminder that we don’t need to tear others down to build ourselves up. Your commitment to kindness and respect is what makes your blog special.🤝🙏🌷🎉

    Liked by 2 people

    1. The Mindful Migraine Blog Avatar

      I do try! Like you said, life’s too short to pull people down or “throw shade” – there’s room enough for all of us, always. xx (Although I do feel an inkling of guilt about being a bit mean to the ‘guru’!!)

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Johnbritto Kurusumuthu Avatar

        🤝🌷

        Liked by 2 people

  11. SiriusSea Avatar

    You are my tribe, Linda ❤ … and so impressive! How you find the hours!? I'm so over shock-jocks … assault rants, and anything Agro … last century trying to drag us down (lol) !!! Oh, and you gave me a cheesy smile and laugh over a big digital WP family reunion (The visual of Brady Bunch gone Overboard)! Thank you again for another great take! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. The Mindful Migraine Blog Avatar

      Oh I LOVE the Brady-bunch idea – that is exactly what happened to me recently on Zoom – as I watched the host talking, I looked at all the faces-in-squares and thought to myself, what a great big happy family we are – imagine that in blog-land!! xx

      Liked by 2 people

  12. Sheila Avatar

    Lovely post – all the feels 🤗. I am big on inclusiveness especially since I find myself on the outskirts of what is considered “normal” and “cool”.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. The Mindful Migraine Blog Avatar

      Ha ha, you made me giggle – your blog suggests you are way more cool than me… but regardless, we can hang out on the outskirts together – I suspect there might be plenty of others prepared to hang out there with us! Have a wonderful (hopefully pain-free week) my friend! xx

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Sheila Avatar

        Thanks, you too!

        Liked by 2 people

        1. The Mindful Migraine Blog Avatar

          ❤️❤️❤️

          Liked by 1 person

  13. Gail Perry Avatar

    You sure got that right, Linda. Being in my 8th decade might mean that I know lots of stuff, including the bad grammar in sentence 1. It also means that I have forgotten a lot of things. My PhD. dates from 1981; I do remember the topic of my dissertation, but not much more from then. Teaching a single subject to university students for 35 years tends to narrow the things one needs to know. Perhaps the most important lesson I ever learned was the value of kindness. Let’s continue to promote it, even through our pain.❤️

    Liked by 3 people

    1. The Mindful Migraine Blog Avatar

      🥂Three cheers to that (even though I don’t drink!) – I’m happy to let all the provocateurs hang out where they will, and us ‘kind-ies’ can cling together – I’m guessing that pain or not, we’ll still be having the last laugh!! xx

      Liked by 2 people

Leave a reply to tanjabrittonwriter Cancel reply