Today is International Day of Charity. As such, today’s post is a reminder to think about others rather than yourself.
A while ago I wrote a post about how I replaced the desire for “less pain” with the hope of “more joy”. The shift sounds small, but it was in fact epic in helping me heal. It stopped placing pain as the focus of my interest, and it created an ambition which was more within my control. Chronic migraine is a complicated, genetic, neurological condition, and I’m just me. If fancy-pants doctors and scientists can’t cure it, how can I expect to? Joy, on the other hand, I can influence. I can linger longer over my morning half-cuppa-coffee as the sun warms up my shoulders and the dogs sit at my feet… ahhh… yes… in those moments, my life truly is “#blessed”.
In the same post, mentioned above, I also wrote about how I developed a new daily ritual which included opening the curtains at dawn and thinking of something to be grateful for: “thank you for the sunshine, thank you for the cleansing rain, thank you for giving me a roof over my head, thank you for letting me sleep through the night…”
I even posted a “today’s going to be a good day” song which I made up and sing to myself to reinforce positivity as my mindset for the day ahead.
As far as routines go – it works for me – I genuinely do tend to have a better day since I started thinking this way.
UNTIL…
I read something that changed my mind.
It was a short post on LinkedIn by wellness coach Brett Thiedeman that suggested that you swap out gratitude for generosity. It advocated that you start each morning by sending good-will into the universe FOR OTHERS – NOT YOURSELF.
Gratitude is certainly better than grumpy-old-gloomy-guts. Gratitude puts a positive spin on the day, as I’ve mentioned. Gratitude pre-puts your head into a particular gear that opens your eyes to a particular way of seeing… a particular way of being… a happier, more contented way…
BUT
Gratitude remains self-centred.
Its focus is YOU.
“Thank you Universe for MY good night sleep and for giving ME a roof over my head and watering the garden outside MY window with your rain.”
In scientific terms, the positive energy of gratitude could be seen to be centripetal – inward acting.
Generosity, on the other hand, reverses the energy flow – it is centrifugal – outward going.
“Dear Universe, please bring peace to those who are at war, please bring rain to those in drought, please remember those who are struggling, and help my neighbour Mrs So-and-So that she might beat the bad cough that seems to be slowing her down at the moment.”
Or if that sounds too much like a prayer for you, say instead, “Dear Mrs So-and-So, I’m sending you an invisible hug so that you might feel better today, and as much good-will as possible to the family’s in drought… you can’t know this, but I AM thinking of you…”
There’s no reason you can’t still sing your version of “today’s going to be a good day” song, but this time, let it’s sentiment ring true for everyone, not just you.
In the same way that shifting “less pain” to “more joy” made a big difference in my mindset, shifting “gratitude” to “generosity” is slowly becoming a game changer for me too.
Reading about my sister’s pain, reminded me how much chronic pain made me self-absorbed, and now that my pain is (mostly) receding, and there’s more space in my brain, it’s time to start filling it up with thoughts about other people.
I often write that you are you-nique – and it’s true – but, you are also part of something much bigger than yourself, and sometimes it’s important to recognise that bigger picture.
I also write that self-care is not selfish – and it’s not – but, again, sometimes healing can take place above and beyond your-self.
Take care, here, there and everywhere, always, Linda x
The Mindful Migraine 
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