It is human to grieve. Necessary. We need to acknowledge loss, to make space for it, and time. You should give yourself full permission to feel deep, heart-breaking-sadness, and there should be no shame in having a good old cry… about whatever, or whoever it is that you’re missing…
But at some point, when the time is right, we have to pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and start a new day. Old mourning has to become a new morning.
It sounds so rottenly cliche, but at some point, you need to find beauty in the adversity.
I read something, somewhere, that I have always remembered; “grief comes in two parts – the loss of one life and the remaking of another.” The saying was intended as a greeting card response to the loss of a loved one, and in that regards, it works as well as words ever can when you’re grieving.
What I realized lately however, is that the same words can work when you grieve the loss of a sense-of self. When I moved from episodic to chronic migraine, I had to accept that the life that I had known was gone. I stopped working and driving, socializing and parenting. Life got smaller and darker.
But now, as I come out the other side of daily migraines, and move back towards occasional migraines, I can see the potency of the quote if it is rewritten slightly:
“HEALING comes in two parts – the loss of one life and the remaking of a new life.”
I can’t tell you how much you all mean to me – you’ve all become an integral part of my healing journey, all witness to a transformation that involves laying to rest one version of myself and giving rise to a new version of me.
I no longer mourn the loss of what I used to have or the person that I used to be. I don’t miss her anymore. Truly. (Mostly.) Instead, I choose to celebrate the new version of me.
“Linda V2” – not better or worse, just different.
My biggest hope is that for anyone out there reading and struggling – hang in there. Change can happen, but sometimes it takes time (be patient patients). Time really does heal most wounds, and many illnesses. I know that they say ‘chronic illnesses’ are forever and that there is no cure for migraine – but there is remission – you CAN get better – or at the very least, you can be LESS SICK, less sad, MORE JOYOUS.
As always, thank you for being there for me, and know that I’m here for you.
Here’s hoping that you too can stop mourning what you’ve “lost” and celebrate instead the new you that you are becoming.
Take care taking care, Linda (V2) xox
The Mindful Migraine 
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