Yesterday was Mother’s Day in Australia, and I’m proud to say that amongst some other treats, I got a lovely beanie and scarf for the upcoming Winter season, (in my new favorite shade of mossy-green), as well as a heat pack… my girls know me so well!
Although… I’m not sure I can call them “girls” anymore, they’re really “young ladies” being 16 and nearly 18 years old. Wow! Where did time fly???
The youngest just got her learn to drive permit and has already been out and about and around the block with my husband. He’s the driving instructor in our house. I gave it a go with my eldest daughter… once. The stress nearly killed me, and of course, I came perilously close to getting a migraine. Sigh. It wasn’t even that she was a “bad”driver, more that there were so many things going on all at once; trying to explain where to go, and what to do, and watch over her shoulder on her behalf, and worry about her and the other people on the road, and worry some more, and some more…
In Australia young people have to wait until they turn 16, then they sit an online exam. It asks them a series of questions about road rules, and what does this sign mean, how far should you park from a public post-box, how fast should you go through a school-zone and so on. Once you pass that test, then you sit an eye exam at the main office to determine if you should be wearing glasses when you drive, and then they make you a photo ID card.
Then, just like that, you can stick a plastic L on your car and hit the road with a registered driver beside you.
There’s a little part of me that is terrified that you can be technically proficient but practically useless and still be allowed on the road with other drivers and pedestrians… but on the other hand… how can you become an experienced driver without getting experience?
Driving is a skill you can’t learn just from books, you have to get behind the wheel and put your foot on the pedal, turn the wheel, sense the car moving, speeding up, slowing down… it is lived-learning.
Once you have got the required number of practice hours with a guide beside you, (I think it is currently 120 hours, but it’s always going up and up because we have a problem with high rates of youth crashes) then you sit another test – this time you drive an assessor around the block and they decide if you can command the car all on your lonesome. If you pass, then you get a plastic red P (for “Provisional” license) to put on your bumper… then a year later it goes to a green P, then a year after that, you get a full license.
As I type this, the layered, stepped, approach makes sense to me: you’re a good driver, but you don’t have a lot of experience, so off you go, but here’s a sign to let other drivers know where you’re at in your learning curve.
And what about learning to heal?
What colored plastic letter would I stick on my behind, or forehead, to tell people where I’m at with my healing journey?
It’s been close to 2 years now that I have been diligently applying mindfulness techniques to my life, and I have gone from being bedridden almost all day, every day, to going through most of the week with a pain scale level 1 out of 10… might not sound like a big deal – but it IS!
So, I’m definitely past the online computer test, and I would even say that I have gone through my L-Learner stage… perhaps a red P-provisional… maybe even a green P at a pinch – I have the basics, and I’m OK on my own… but I’m not quite consistent in all the holistic healing techniques.
Healing your pain is a bit like learning to drive… you can’t just read about it in a book, and you can’t expect to go it alone in the early stages.
You need to find a coach, a guide, a mentor, a support person (or several) who can give you some tips and tricks and motivate you to stay on the road as it were… to slow down… or be more assertive… to mind the curb, and to keep an eye on your boundaries… someone who has more experience than you, AND someone who has plenty of patience!
I’m not a good driving instructor, but I’m starting to feel a bit more confident about dispensing advice on migraine help… but still not with a level of expertise… because, I’m still learning too!
Where do you think you are on your healing journey – and do you have a person in your life that you identify as an instructor???
Oh, and don’t forget that bad teachers are still good people (like me!) so don’t be too tough on the people in your life who don’t show up for you the way you’d like all the time… I love my daughters to the moon and back… but I’m just not the right person to teach them to drive. Conversely, my daughters love me to the moon and most of the way back, but I can’t expect them to be my healing guides… that’s not their job.
It’s not easy, reading, practicing, finding support, putting it all together… but in the same way that it is a 3-year process to get your full license… learning takes time.
Be patient patients, and take care taking care, Linda xx
(PS – sorry for the late issue – it was a tragic migraine morning, but I’m feeling a thousand times better now, L xx)
The Mindful Migraine 
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