A big fear I had when I first started this blog was: “I don’t have the expertise to help others when I’m still learning how to help myself!”
And that’s as true today as it was over a year ago when I first started tip-tapping away at my keyboard.
But here’s a distinction that I have figured out over the last few months: “I might not be an expert in the area of migraine health, but I DO have plenty of lived experience in this area.”
It’s not the same thing, I know – BUT – it also doesn’t mean that my opinion has no value, that my voice doesn’t deserve to be heard, or that no one will ever want to listen to what I have to say.
The distinction means I still don’t want to give you advice. I’d be super reluctant, for example, to write “you should do this” – because I’m not trained in neuroscience, pharmacology or nutrition… and because I hate being told what to do and am skeptical of anyone who has a definite solution to something as complicated and patient-specific as migraine.
What I do feel comfortable writing, however, is “this is what I did, and this is how it helped me, perhaps it could help you too.”
The weekend just passed was the 16th-month-anniversary of this blog… I lost track for a while there, but wow – nearly a year and a half I’ve been going.
So, what have I learnt in all that time?
I think it’s probably best summarized by the idea of “the more I know – the more I know I don’t know!”
Now, that might sound deeply depressing – (“is there no end to this journey???”) – but in other ways, there is a hint of perpetual growth about it that I’m happy to lean into (“migraine is quirky and each of us is you-nique… put them both together, and there is an infinity of different causes, symptoms, and treatments that might apply… no wonder there’s no quick answers – it’s not me (or my doctors) being vague or lazy – it’s just a very complex situation we find ourselves in!”)
Put another way – here’s what I know for certain after a year of researching migraines: I still don’t have all the answers as to why my migraine slipped from episodic to chronic. I still don’t know what allows some people to heal quickly, and others (like myself) to take longer. I also don’t entirely know with certainity why I am finally getting better after nearly 3 years of daily pain, while others are still struggling after many more years…
But here’s what I also know – mindfulness has helped. Making a commitment to help myself heal has helped. Believing that I CAN heal has helped. Trying to believe with all my heart and soul that self-care is not selfish has helped. Valuing progress over perfection has helped. Turning down the volume on negative narratives including shame and guilt has helped. Breaking the pain-fear cycle has helped. Calming my nervous system down and regulating my vagus nerve has helped. Breathing better has helped. Movement and posture improvements have helped. Dedicating time in my calendar to healing has helped. Learning how to put it all together has helped. Acting as a bridge between migraine material and other people with migraines has helped.
Helping others has helped… a lot!
Nothing in life is guaranteed – not healing, not a blog being able to last longer than a few posts, not making new digital friends who bring a smile to your face every day…
…but what is certain, is that if you don’t try, you’ll never know what is possible… and you don’t want to lay awake at night with a sense of regret for not trying…
…not trying to heal, or write, or make friends, or begin your own version of a mindfulness method…
So, happy 16-month-aniversary to The Mindful Migraine Blog and to all its readers – I’m a better (healthier / happier) person for having taken a chance and being brave enough to start whispering into the void… and I’m forever grateful for how many of you have used your brave voices to echo back from the digital abyss to remind me that we are never alone.
Lastly – here’s another thing I DO know – so many of you have so many interesting blogs! As I’ve done in past anniversary blogposts – here’s a blogroll of a shoutout to the last* 10 blogs that have joined Team Mindful (thankfully, many of you are not migrainey) – if you get a chance, please pop over and share some blog-love with one or two of them!
- DIGITAL UNIVERSE – “Exploring the Spiritual Cosmos in the Digital Universe”
- 25Summerz: Stories That Shatter Expectations
- Hiking Yosemite and Beyond
- Surlycakes – it’ll be fine
- Dandelion Doorways – Close your eyes & open your mind.
- Moderate Living – a gardener’s life
- REST and RUCKUS – Healing from chronic illness while raising littles.
- Hollowed Happiness – Echoes of Shadow, Brushstrokes of Light: Poetry in Motion
- Perspective on Trauma – Building Perspective on Trauma, Loss, Attachment, Familial Pain, and Moving Forward
- HOBO WINDMILL BLOG | “The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.” Mark Twain
Take care taking care and remember – there’s no shame in not knowing… so keep going, and keep growing, Linda xx
PS – I went looking for a quote to sum up some of these ideas, and here’s one that jumped out: “Not knowing is better than pretending to know.” – Anonymous
PPS – Now that I’ve sat with it for a few moments, I’m not sure that I totally agree with that anonymous quote… I get what it means (no one loves an ignorant know-it-all), but… sometimes a bit of pretending is necessary… sometimes a little bit of pretending is cool… here’s a flash-back to me pretending to be more outgoing than I really am for a pretend influencer photo-shoot, from my “We Are ALL Influencers” post (from 13 months ago!?!) which was all about faking it ’til you make it…
I guess that’s another thing I DO know – life rarely settles into the neat binaries of good or bad, right or wrong, pretending is OK, or pretending is no good… hmmm… I think I wrote something about that many, many months ago when I referred to the greeny-red-orangey zone of life (here)! How far I’ve come in my ideas… and yet… how close to home I remain! Then again, isn’t that the course of many quests and adventures?!
PPS – I referred to the “last” 10 blogs that have started subscribing – but – if your blog is anything like mine, you might be experiencing serious glitches with the whole subscriber-thing at the moment… I seem to keep losing you – in batches – and then you reappear again… or don’t… sigh. Anyway, I write for readers not stats – but know that if you’ve been unsubscribed for some reason – it wasn’t me that tossed you!
The Mindful Migraine 
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