When I first started practicing mindfulness, it was practice in the sense of a “learning experiment” rather than a “regular habit”. I relied heavily on YouTube videos that appeared in my google searches, and made selections of what to try based on the shortest duration of the video rather than credibility of the source. The easier the better, was my hope as I had a go. Adherence to any sort of historical accuracy, or mastery of the material was miles from my mind.
When I watched a Tai Chi video (such as these here), I ranked my preference for the videos based on how scenic the background was, or the quality of the background music… and whether the moves were “doable”.
Once, when I was writing a comment on someone else’s blog post about the ancient history of Tai Chi, I acknowledged that I was prone to adapting moves, or even outright making them up. As such, the blogger suggested in reply, that it might be better if I didn’t refer to what I was doing as Tai Chi.
Fair call.
What I was doing really couldn’t even be called “Tai Chi-lite” as I have hinted at before… because that reference is accidentally derogatory to a very particular mind-body exercise that originated in martial arts centuries ago.
[“One does not simply do Tai Chi” – is a strange meme-voice I hear in my head sometimes…]
Meditation is similar. I hit play on one of my Spotify saves (here), and then, when they say “close your eyes” – I don’t… or not always. Sometimes I don’t even sit still throughout – I move around… I’ve even been known to listen to meditations while doing the dishes…
On some level I have got to the stage where mindfulness has been a living practice, incorporated into my daily actions rather than a fixed 15-minute a day routine.
It works for me.
However…
This might sound strange – or perhaps it’s completely just – but for a long time I have carried a sense of guilt that I am somehow breaking the rules… fudging my mindfulness… risking the wrath of some unseen Master who would be appalled that my “practice” is far from real.
As such, it was quite heartening to stumble across an article on the free-resource-rich site WildMind.org:
In a very short space of time, the article identified my concerns, and (mostly) pushed them away.
Here’s a couple of quotes from the article (but reading the whole is worthwhile too):
“Over the years I’ve been teaching I’ve had many people who are learning meditation ask me questions beginning something like, ‘Are you allowed to…?’”
“This reveals a curious assumption that there is some kind of enforcement mechanism for meditation techniques — perhaps some kind of ‘Meditation Police’ who will drag you kicking and screaming from your meditation cushion if you use some kind of unauthorized technique.”
“In the long term […] there’s just no point in continuing to use a technique that doesn’t work for you — even if that technique is ‘officially approved’.”
“…sometimes we just have restless and impatient minds.”
*
Ahhh… thank goodness… I’m NOT going to get in trouble!
The article suggests a simple approach to decide whether what you’re doing is “OK” or not – ask yourself “does it work?”
If you feel calmer, more connected to yourself, kinder to others, and so on, then whatever you’re doing, whatever way, is working.
That said – the author, Bodhipaksa, also suggests sticking with a technique for a while before abandoning it. Trying one meditation, or a single Tai Chi video, and declaring “it’s not working” is NOT how mindfulness works.
In the end, there might not be any Mindfulness Police who will arrest you on your mat, but there will be the voice of me in your head reminding you to be a patient patient… good things take time, and mindfulness is one of those good things.
Transformation takes time.
Allow yourself that time.
And as if the Universe was hearing my whispered worry about “rightness” I recently spoke to Violet Li – someone who truly deserves the title of Master of Mindfulness: “With a steadfast dedication accumulating over 10,000 hours of study and practice, Violet emerged as a disciple of Grandmaster Chen Zhenglei, earning the esteemed title of a 12th Generation Chen Style Tai Chi Inheritor.”
WOW.
The reason I bring up the amazing Violet, is that she recently reached out and asked me to chat with her about how Tai Chi helped me reduce my migraine pain. Our discussion was taped (you can watch it here), but during the chat, I told her about my home-made version of Tai Chi and she kindly encouraged me by stating that it was perfectly fine to do what works for you when you are healing.
[You can read the associated article and share some blog love with Violet over on her site: Managing Migraine with Tai Chi – Violet Li Tai Chi]
Remember – you are you-nique and so is your healing journey – so do it your way rather than no-way… and then, when you get more comfortable with the practice, consider circling back around to the “approved” version of what you love.
Take care taking care, Linda x
PS – quick reversal of the advice above – for some mindfulness techniques, such as Yin Yoga, I would NOT recommend going rogue; by all means don’t attempt a move that’s too hard for you but refrain from inventing your own abstract stretches as there is a risk you might hurt yourself.
PPS – DISCLAIMER – I am not a qualified mindful movement practitioner, so please speak to your own healthcare provider to ensure you find a style of mindfulness that suits your individual medical situation.
The Mindful Migraine 
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