Some time ago I met a doctor online who mentioned that she handed out cards to her patients… only they weren’t business cards… they were the same size, but on them were affirmations of healing, with messages such as “you deserve to heal”.
What a lovely thought!
Imagine leaving the doctor’s office and whether you’ve received good news or bad, your head is spinning… then the doctor makes this small act of generosity, they hand you a card that implies they see you, they care.
I found it very moving.
I wondered how it would feel if my neurologist was a card-giver and how I would respond… where would I put the card when I got home… would it make a lasting difference, or just be a temporary buzz?
My mind spun in circles, but it kept landing back on the same sensation that receiving a printed affirmation from a doctor would lead me to feel validated somehow.
Next, I wondered what I would put on a card to hand out… I already have a business card that promotes this blog which my neurologist kindly hands out to other migraine patients… but what about an affirmational card? What would I put on a design like that?
Coming up with a solution was harder than I thought… not because I don’t wish you well, but because everything I wrote sounded somehow patronizing…
Perhaps it was because I was using the template for a business card… perhaps in my mind business and empathy don’t go well together and my suspicion-radar is amped up by the context… perhaps it was my computer-skill-limitations that were making me edgy and taking away the spontaneity of the gesture… perhaps it was the finicky-font-fiddliness that was challenging my ‘progress over perfection‘ mantra…
Regardless, I gave myself a short window of time and made up 3 imaginary cards:
It was an interesting experiment for me, because I think it unearthed some deeper suspicions I wasn’t previously aware of…
I can give support, but I’m seemingly hesitant to receive it.
When I read “you deserve to heal” – I believe it – wholeheartedly – because I’m thinking of YOU.
But when I read something along the lines of “I am healing deeply” – I’m not convinced, because I’ve been (un)well for so long now that I wonder if I really am healing… even though I know, (again, wholeheartedly) that I really AM in a much better place now than I was a year ago.
I tried out a whole stack of different affirmations:
- I recognize my body is getting stronger every day
- I am grateful for the strength my body possesses
- I am open to the healing energy around me
- I am focused on healing and recovery
- I am stronger than this illness
- I let go of my perceived pain
- I honor my healing journey
- I am patient
In almost every instance, my mind blurted out a negativity in the background:
- “I am patient [but not always!!]”
- “I let go of my perceived pain [except that you DON’T really – you’re always thinking about the pain in your eye… and what does ‘perceived’ mean – are they implying it’s not real??]”
…and so on and on…
If I shift the affirmations slightly, and imagine saying them to YOU, they feel fine again: “You are stronger than this illness” – seems an appropriate message for me to say to you.
When I imagine you saying it to me, however, I still feel a bit of a head shake, a subtle inner “hmmm…” that sits beside the “oh thank you!”
Interestingly, there are learning moments in even the most random places in our lives… this feels like one for me.
I’m going to give drawing digital cards a rest and head off to write myself another love letter – I’ve done it before (here), and it’s obviously time for a new one to renew the positivity that seems to be waning!
Here’s hoping that you’re in a good place right now – I am too – I just need to boost my confidence that healing really is possible – and it IS – I’ve come SO far since I started my self-help mindfulness journey…
Onwards and upwards…
Patiently.
Take care taking care, Linda x
PS – a quick humble brag which is also a motivator to me, and a reminder to you that you’re not alone when you hang out here with me on The Mindful Migraine Blog – I recently got a notification that the blog passed 50,000 views! Hooray! Thank you to all of you who keep showing up and reading what I write – you mean the world to me!
The Mindful Migraine 
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