When a full-blown migraine strikes, there is not a lot you can do other than ‘shelter in place’ as it were; go to a quiet room, close the curtains, and shut the door. For me, I’ll have the company of a heat-pack I place on the right side of my head as if it were a jaunty little French Beret, as well as a grape-flavored sports drink for the electrolytes and some plain, salty crackers… nothing more, nothing less.
If I get too ‘fancy’ with the food or drinks, the smell can set off a cycle of vomiting attacks… even the THOUGHT of some foods is enough to get my stomach lurching as if there were an octopus somersaulting in there.
In terms of other support items, I have experimented with eye-masks and aromatherapy… sometimes I can handle them, even welcome them, but more often than not, they add to a sense of being over-stimulated; it’s all too much… too much pressure on my eyelashes (it’s true), too ‘pepperminty’, too floral, too ick…
For sound, I prefer complete silence when I’m very sick, but as I’ve mentioned before (here), if the pain is starting to turn down it’s volume, then I like to turn up the volume on gentle music that I have collected on my Spotify playlist (here if you’re interested), because it makes me feel a little less lonely.
On my worst days, I have to think carefully about what clothes I wear to bed, or how heavy the blanket is. I don’t like ANYTHING touching my throat, but I DO like having my legs all wrapped up and snuggly as if I were a human burrito… it sounds very fussy, and I guess it is, but when you know you know… and don’t get me started on how I can feel my hair follicles screaming…
Oh, and when it comes to pillows, I have one that is just right, everything else, luxey-little throw cushions included, need to move right away so my head doesn’t accidentally get touched and wake me up from my coma-like sleep.
Do I sound like a complete Diva? Yes, probably.
Can I help it? No, not at all.
Psshhh, come to think of it, the more I try to ‘suck it up princess’, the sicker I get.
Worse still, if I feel as if I am hiding my pain, minimising it, or feeling guilty about it, then I start to have an additional drama: my mind starts to spiral into dark places about being a burden on my family and friends.
[My pain is so much better these days and my severe migraine attacks are few and far between – but the memory of being in bed for more than 12 hours a day every day for years has not yet faded.]
So why am I telling you all of this?
Because, as I often say: you are you-nique AND you matter.
You deserve to feel safe and secure, especially in your go-to place of rest and relief.
If you have to lie down regularly due to chronic fatigue / illness / pain, then you too will have a favorite ‘bolt hole’ and probably a strong preference for what goes in there.
Why not spend a few minutes to really nut-out what you want to have in your space and be sure to have it set up that way in advance, or tell a loved one how they can help you arrange it on the days you’re struggling to make things happen.
Why not put a positive spin on your ‘time out’ and create a ‘hibernation den’ – somewhere that you go to rest and restore and wait out your metaphorical winter… and then, when the time is right, you can re-emerge, back into the world, all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed!
My family, for example, knows that I don’t want to eat dinner in bed if I am sick, no matter how generous the act is… I just don’t want food smells in my face… same again for a well-meaning cup of tea or coffee… a weak tea, maybe, but no, no coffee… I can smell it before you even get it past my door… ugh.
[I’ve written before about how hard it can be to feel miffed at the kindness your family and friends give you – it’s not that you are being unreasonable, it’s just that your idea of reasonable is different to theirs – it’s often a clash, and it’s a real issue worth navigating if you can find the time and energy – read more here: migraine-love-language]
OK – so what does your ideal ‘cave’ look like: ice pack, special fluffy socks, comfort food, a candle that makes you feel less stressed, one of those head massage devices pre-charged and ready to go???
You do you – your way.
We all want to feel loved and supported, and a good place to start is self-love and self-support.
What can you do today that will help you feel better?
While you ponder that, know that if you’re struggling with a life of chronic-mess, I’m right here, sending lots of kindness and understanding your way: I see you, I get you, I (was/am) you.
Take care taking care, always, Linda x
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PS: as I was typing this, I found that I was becoming increasingly aware of how the air smells right now… it reminded me of my post on ‘osmophobia‘ (smell-phobia) and the ‘olfactory hallucinations’ that some migraine patients have… and it ALSO reminded me of a time when my daughter was very young and we were walking through town. She asked “what’s that smell?” and I told her it was incense from the Yoga Studio, and she replied; “it smells like toilet paper” – and you know what… some incense and some brands of toilet paper really do smell the same!
PPS: For more ideas about setting yourself up a bit more comfortably, here’s a couple of other blog posts that might help:
be-prepared-but-like-really-prepared
bedroom-basics-for-pain-isolation
free-mini-makeover-for-your-bedroom
xox
The Mindful Migraine 
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