Every now and then something “clicks” in my mind; thoughts align (or collide) and I think “ah ha”. It doesn’t happen very often when it comes to migraine material (I had my first migraine when I was 11 years old), but with all the reading I’ve been doing, I still have some revelation-clunkers.
The most recent one related to the realization that my migraine-pain-brain doesn’t like change (it prefers everything to be predictable and “just right” – which is why I call it Goldilocks) – BUT – the revelation included a new and significant clarification…
My migraine-pain-brain does not differentiate between “GOOD” change and “BAD” change – it just identifies “change” and freaks out.
For example – if I was told that my children had to be at school an hour early all of next week; I’d panic. It’s a small change, but with some big knock-on effects. We’d all have to get up earlier, I might have to drive them to school if the public bus doesn’t co-operate, one of my two daughters would probably turn slightly feral if I suggested she go to bed an hour early to make up for the lost sleep, I would have to skip my dawn walk of the dogs and might not fit in any regular exercise at all, etc etc). Nothing BIG, I know; first world problems and all that. But the reality is the change would have an effect on life as we know it, and it would, I’ll be honest, be BAD (at least until we got used to the new routine).
When life changes, my pain-brain gets stressed. Less sleep is not great. Changed bedtime routines are not great. Missed exercise is not great. Skipped breakfast if we were in a rush is definitely not great… and so on and on…
Take another example – my doctor might relocate his office to somewhere much closer to where I live, and easier to get to. That’s a good change. However, now I have to travel to a new location, adjust my train route, learn how to get from the station to the new building, and so on. It WILL be easier in the long run, but that first visit is going to be stressful for my glitchy, problem-seeking, drama-finding brain.
GOOD change is temporarily BAD.
The trick is to remember that this good change might still be an issue for you on that first day – so plan accordingly. Even if your well-meaning friends and family tell you to stress-less and chill-out, it’s no big deal… perhaps, for YOU, it IS.
Another example is weekends and holidays. Who doesn’t enjoy a break? My brain, I suspect. It gets so used to living life in a rut; predictable, routine, easy to anticipate, habitual… So when you throw a last-minute flight to the relaxing destination of everyone’s dreams… doh! Migraine time.
Perhaps it’s the early start to get there, or the time travelling that throws out my neck, or the dehydration that seems to go with travel… perhaps it’s the new pillow at the hotel, or the unusual weather conditions at the new location, the time difference that creates jet lag, or, or….
Good change, wished-for change, desired change, longed-for change, change that will make life easier, better, funner, weller… is still change.
Migraine-pain-brains don’t like change: good or bad.
So then – no more holidays?
[Maybe in the short term – my family went to Japan without me last year – I was just too sick to even contemplate the super-triggering activities of air travel and hotel hopping.]
But not necessarily forever. What’s important is to remember what our pain-brain likes and try to work around that glitch as much as possible.
If you can accept that we are a lot like human-barometers, then book travel times that best suit your regular routines, or destinations that are not too different to home. Make travel times shorter, or work into the trip enough time to recover if you do get a migraine.
For me – the relocated doctor was not a big drama in the end, but I did accept a lift from my hubby for the first time – just in case.
Sometimes, that’s enough – a bit of forward planning and a just in case attitude. I previously wrote about the idea of how we have to “be (REALLY) prepared” (with a call out to “diabatics” here). The post included the potential of carrying a keyring with your condition and support person’s contact number on it… just in case.
The point is – I’ve always realized I have to be prepared, and that my migraine-pain-brain doesn’t like change… but the revelation that even good change can be perceived as bad is a new idea to me.
So then – have a think about your pain-brain. Is it the same? And if so, what can you do to minimize change-angst? Or are you lucky enough that good-different is all good? (here’s hoping!)
Take care everyone as you take care of yourselves.
Sending love as always, Linda x
The Mindful Migraine 
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