What am I to you?
It probably doesn’t matter, but I have been thinking a lot about which kinds of people I prefer to take advice from, and equally importantly, which kind of person YOU might prefer to listen to. Each ‘label’ represents a slightly different approach to sharing wisdom. The ‘tone’ of how each role dispenses their information also varies.
+ A ‘sage’ tends to bestow wisdom from on high. That isn’t who I am, or what I’m trying to be. I certainly don’t feel that level of confidence or expertise when it comes to chronic pain (regardless of years of lived experience).
+ ‘Coach’… maybe, but not really, because even though I refer to “Team Migraine” I tend to think of myself as on the team ‘playing the game’ rather than being on the sideline calling in instructions. I’ve got some good ideas but I’m still learning. I’m not ‘cured’ enough to pretend to be an expert, and I’m happy to take advice as much as I dispense it.
+ ‘Cheerleader’ is not terrible. I have noticed that I seem to use a lot of “YAYs”, “woo-hoos” and “you got this” in my writing. For some reason though, I can’t get the image of me flopping on my face when I try to cartwheel my way through a routine run of pom-pom-ing. Realistically, cheerleaders are a bit too high-octane for a chronic pain person like me, and possibly too up-beat for other chronic pain people to listen to without getting weary (or wary).
+ ‘Filter-less friend’ is good. Friends are supportive, they’re there for us, they have our backs. I also vibe with the tough-love approach that includes lots of compassion with the occasional kick on the butt to remind you that “hoping and wishing isn’t enough – you HAVE to work at getting better.” [You have to initiate “mindfulness mode.”] Friends are great because they tend to know you well, they see you for who you are and have a shared history or a lot in common. They don’t always tell you what you want to hear, but it’s usually what you need to listen to. They don’t always get it right, but they mean well; which is why they’re still our friends. They’re also good for a laugh, and a spot of afternoon tea or an evening wine and cheese… without the wine and cheese though (because – you know – migraine triggers and all that.)
Anyway.
At the end of the day, I am who I am, and I am who I am to you.
But I do enjoy the thought of imagining us together on a couch, having a cuppa and chitty-chatty-yippy-yapping as I sprinkle our conversation with my sage advice about mindfulness and accompanying my coach’s speech with a few cheerleader’s woo-hoos… and then finish with a quick not-too-tight hug goodbye.
Until then – I’m sending you lots of good vibes and a virtual embrace!
Take care friends, teammates and fellow pom-pommers, Linda x
PS – on the weekend I passed my 17-month anniversary, and so I thought I’d do a quick shoutout to some of the new readers who have supported my writing:
Iris@poetsmith | Simply Poetry
Joules Blog | “Because midlife is a flaming circus”
Living in God’s Pocket with ABI – Nurturing Compassion and Stewardship
Srikanth’s poetry – Freelance poetry writing
Sunset Movie Reviews | Illuminating Cinema, One Film at a Time
PPS – a quick humble-brag… if you have Instagram, you can see an image of me (holding my Mother’s Day Mindful Migraine Mug) which was painted in glorious watercolor shades by the incredible Barbara Hulme: Instagram. You can see more of Barbara’s amazing portraits (and the stories of the chronically ill people she portrays) over on her website: Women’s Health Collection
The Mindful Migraine 
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