Before you get too excited for gossip about my love life – today’s post is NOT about me – it’s about scientists who suggest that the first kiss took place 21 million years ago!
As the article (here) writes: “…scientists studied kissing because it presents something of an evolutionary puzzle – it has no obvious survival or reproductive benefits, and yet it is something that is seen not just in many human societies, but across the animal kingdom.”
Whilst the article seems to have clarified the ‘when’, the ‘why’ of kissing is less obvious… they surmise it might have originally been a means of assessing the health status and compatibility of a partner.
[Image source: First kiss dates back 21 million years, say scientists]
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OK, so a research paper about “swapping saliva” (as Dr Brindle refers to it) is not an overly romantic prelude to Valentine’s Day (tomorrow), but it did get me thinking about the importance of all sorts of “firsts” and the emotional roller-coaster that goes with them: joy, excitement, anticipation, curiosity… perhaps confusion, nervousness, kafuddle… maybe even disappointment or regret…
In an era of mobile-phone-cameras, my children’s “firsts” are well documented; first smile, first steps, first birthday, first day of school, first prom dress… AND there are plenty of firsts that they experienced that I undoubtedly (decidedly) was not there for.
The reason that I bring this up, is I have been circling around the importance of curiosity in helping myself heal, and why I think it’s generally OK to keep trying new things.
[Disclaimer – this blog is not a substitute for professional advice – please speak to a doctor if you are looking for a medical opinion about your health and healing.]
Knowledge is power, and the more knowledge I have gained about my health condition (symptoms, triggers, treatment options, personal habits and subconscious tendencies etc etc) the more empowered I feel. And the more empowered I feel the more healthy I am becoming.
Instead of thinking “why me?” and “it’s not fair” I shifted to “why might this be happening?” and “what could I do differently that might improve my situation?” I stopped being a passenger in my own life, and felt my hands return to the steering wheel, as it were.
Now – in the same way that there are no guarantees that your curiosity will be rewarded with ‘success’ – I can assure you that in terms of healing it is often better to try than not (sitting and stewing achieves nothing (sorry))… it’s like that saying “it’s better to have loved and lost than never loved at all” (which never feels true when you’re in the ‘loss’ stage of the equation, but again – move your mindset from sorrow to gratitude for experiences gained and you’ll potentially find something that brings relief).
If you keep doing what you’ve always done, you’ll (almost inevitably) keep getting the same outcomes you’ve always gotten.
If you’re keen to see change take place – initiate changes.
This weekend, if you’re celebrating Valentines, mix it up – go to your favorite restaurant but order a meal that’s unfamiliar, buy a bouquet of daisies instead of roses, or be delighted when you receive the gift of a vacuum cleaner instead of diamond jewelry…!
OK, I’m being a bit silly – but – there’s always a first time for everything.
So – lean into it – get curious about yourself, your go-to-habits, your family and friends, your wider-world… and try different.
Happy Valentines if you’re that way inclined, and know that I’m sending lots of kindness your way regardless of whether you celebrate or not.
Take care taking care,
Linda xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
(that’s a lot of digital kisses!!)
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PS – here’s the scientific research paper about kissing, if you’re interested in reading more: A comparative approach to the evolution of kissing – ScienceDirect
PPS – don’t forget there’s a zoom meeting you’re all invited to – not this weekend, but the one after – read more on the blog here:
Here’s the Zoom link (if it asks for a password, it is Lind@):
https://us05web.zoom.us/j/7715158379?pwd=bSc1YBdziKPpjGMFQzqOunmoQRbb6u.1&omn=82961920345
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