The Mindful Migraine

Over on Instagram, I have recently been seeing a lot of millennials panicking about the ‘junk’ that they have inherited from their Baby Boomer relatives. It sounds mean and ungrateful, but the videos have a point: Grandma’s collection of 101 ceramic doves was so special to HER… but where would you put them all if you’re only renting a studio flat?

And what about Uncle Bob’s collection of gloriously crafted wood working tools (that were made redundant with the invention of electricity) – they are now too old to be sellable, but too young to be museum-worthy… what to do?

As someone who has helped a loved one down-size when they went from a house into an assisted living apartment, I’ve been a part of the difficult decisions required when emotions are still well and truly attached to possessions. Without giving too much away, there was a fair bit of “donate that” instructions sent my way, to which I smiled and nodded… but then, seeing how cracked the incomplete set of crockery was, I dutifully wrapped the items in newspaper and marked the box with a “X” that told me to take it to the tip instead.

I felt bad… but not bad enough to force the local charity store to make a trip to the tip instead.

When you’re gifted an item it’s even trickier. When someone specifically says, “give this to Linda, she’ll love it”, how do you say, “no thanks.”

You can’t. You have to take it home with you, find a space for it (in storage or on display), and either wait a decent amount of time before you “on-gift” it, or you come to love it for all its quirky-family-memory-weirdness [I’m looking at you gravy boat with the busty sun-baking teddy bear-babe on board]:

[Image source: me]

*

‘Junk’ is definitely in the eye of the beholder.

One person’s trash is another person’s treasure… and vice-versa.

You gotta do you.

Until you don’t.

I held onto a curvy-cane queen-sized bedhead for over 5 years in my garage, and then, when I was finally sick of tripping on its twisty finery, I threw it to the curb. (Someone picked it up within a few hours to rehome it which made me happy). I swear it was only one week later that “Boho” became a thing, and people were clamoring for anything “peacock-rattan-ish” that gave off “hippy-chic-vibes”.

Sigh.

So, what does all of this have to do with the death of our Swedish friends?

Well, it’s called Döstädning, which is apparently the Swedish word for “death cleaning.“

It sounds dreadfully morbid, but it’s actually very practical. Put simply, it’s the thoughtful approach to decluttering your home and life – but done now – rather than an end-of-life practice. In part, to make your life clutter-free, but also, with an acknowledgment that what you leave behind might cause stress to others.

It’s clean – and kind… and very mindful.

It became internationally popular when Margareta Magnusson published a book on the subject in 2018. She emphasizes keeping things that have a sentimental quality (letters or photos) but not plain objects (too many kitchen utensils or clothes that don’t fit). It encourages minimalism, letting go of physical attachments, and importantly: taking responsibility – these are your possessions – where will they go next? Talking it out with relatives is also encouraged.

[Google search image]

*

It’s reminding me of the whole Marie Kondo(*) phase of Japanese minimalistic-house-cleaning the world went through… I vaguely remember watching videos on how to fold cardigans and asking myself “does this bring me joy?” as I sorted through the third-drawer-down in my kitchen (and replying “no, but I might need this a year from now… whatever it is”).

Anyway – it does seem like a sensible, proactive way to stay on top of the mess that has a habit of breeding in the dark.

Here’s a couple of videos that I found (including the inevitable realty-TV-spinoff that it created:

Döstädning: The gentle art of Swedish death cleaning | BBC Global:

And here’s an ad for the program that ran on a pay-Tv channel:

[link here: The Gentle Art Of Swedish Death Cleaning | Official Trailer | Peacock Original]

*

OK then – I’m off to go reevaluate my shelves, but I can’t guarantee that I’ll be giving away any of the crystal that I inherited from my mother’s mother’s mother… although I might upcycle the ancient pewter teapot I inherited and turn it into a garden feature… shh…

Take care taking care (of all your stuff),

Linda xox

*

(*) PS – note: I recently read an online article (here) about Marie Kondo the decluttering queen, about how her approach changed – because: KIDS. It goes to show that what works is different between people, and between stages within one person’s own life. As she notes: “My home is messy, but it’s the right way for me at this stage of my life. Now I realize what is important to me is enjoying spending time with my children at home. There’s simply not enough time in the day. It’s never worth tidying up at the expense of bringing negative energy to the family. As long as the living room floor is clean, then it’s OK.”