The Mindful Migraine

To conclude Migraine Awareness Month, I want to do a shout-out for my top 7 tips to heal.

There are MANY activities on this blog that you can try, any or all of which can move you along the illness-wellness spectrum to help get better – BUT – I’m starting to realize that to increase your chance of success, there are 7 key things that you need to do BEFORE you go too far changing your diet, exercising more, meditating, or making any other alterations to your current lifestyle.

Here’s my top 7 tips – they might sound a little repetitive, but they are subtly different and equally important. Having learnt from lots of trials and even more errors – and without wanting to sound alarmist – if you DON’T implement these 7 tips, you’re going to find healing much harder and slower.

[At the end of each tip is a link to 3 or 4 of my previous blog posts that will give your more details if you want further information.]

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1. COMMIT TO HEALING

How many New Year’s Resolutions have you made and actually completed? For me, there’s not many. In part it’s because my motivation falters along the way, I get distracted and give up. If I’m really honest, it’s because I wasn’t truly invested in making the change I proposed; my goal wasn’t deeply aligned with some inner purpose. Perhaps I was subconsciously attached to the status quo and reluctant to change. Maybe I’m a tad lazy, and after the initial flush of enthusiasm it all seemed too hard.

On the flip side, think of a time when you DID commit to change. You felt a switch flick inside your heart, a fire ignites in your belly, a light bulb goes off in your head – you sat up straighter and declared loudly; “I’m in – I’m going to climb Mt Everest! / I’m done – I’m resigning! / This is it – you’re the one for me, let’s get married!”

It was fairly normal for me to go to a doctor’s appointment and hear them say, “try this or avoid that” and for me to smile and nod, pay and leave. Sometimes I tried to follow the advice, but often I visited a new doctor in the hope that they would give me feedback I liked better.

If you want to get better, you REALLY have to want to get better – make it your number one priority – don’t wait for tomorrow, a better opportunity or someone else to come along and save you – commit to change and make it happen!

[The Boston Marathon and Mt Everest / Pain rescue: sometimes you have to save yourself / How to change minds / How to initiate ‘mindful mode’ / Have you had a nervous breakthrough?]

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2. BELIEVE THAT YOU CAN HEAL

One of the reasons that our resolutions falter, is that we don’t truly believe that success is possible. When someone offers you advice, do you respond with, “been there, done that… it didn’t work.”

Tough love moment – being a perpetual naysayer is not helpful – perhaps your efforts aren’t working because you don’t believe they will. You’ve probably heard the saying before: the only difference between success and failure is attitude. There’s a lot of truth in this.

To put it in medical terms – consider The Placebo Effect. It’s more than just positive thinking. If you believe that your medication is going to work, then your mind and body start to make it happen. Ever put a tablet in your mouth and sighed with relief? The medicine hasn’t even begun to be absorbed into your system, but you feel better already, confident that it will kick in soon. In that moment, you’re a true believer.

Try to make a break with the past and face forward – forget about what didn’t work previously and start telling yourself that your efforts to heal are worthwhile and you WILL get better. And don’t forget to be a patient patient – healing is often tidal not immediate. Repeat after me: I CAN HEAL.

[Manifesting migraines away / The healing tide / Why you might not be healing]

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3. BELIEVE THAT YOU DESERVE TO HEAL

This was a tricky one for me. No matter how motivated I was to get better, there was often a little voice in my head that whispered words of guilt and shame and suggested that I had made myself sick because I couldn’t handle the pressure of real life, and since I was unable to make myself better, I was a failure.

As human as this mindset might be, if you have a low sense of self-worth then everything you consciously set out to do to get better will be sabotaged and undermined by your subconscious.

Try journalling to discover self-beliefs that might be holding you back, and consider seeking professional assistance to help you improve your relationship with yourself.

You need to turn up the volume on your self-love, self-compassion, self-care – call it what you will – you need to respect yourself more. Each and every one of us deserves to be happy and healthy – including YOU… especially you.

[Go on – hug yourself / It’s time to take out the trash (talk) / Write a love letter to yourself / Cards from a doctor / Migraine love language]

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4. IMPROVE YOUR SENSE OF SAFETY

For many of us, feeling unwell is often the result of our nervous system being overwhelmed to the point of breaking down. It’s been in fight-or-flight mode for so long that we can’t even remember what it feels like to have a body in rest-and-restore mode.

As a result, healing options that are presented to us by well-meaning people – such as “close your eyes and hold your breath for the count of 4” – can feel unsafe. Speaking from firsthand experience, closing my eyes in a room full of strangers made me anxious. Because I was feeling anxious, any benefit that might have come from the meditation that was to follow was lost to me.

“Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs” suggests that we have to meet our primal requirements of survival first, such as having access to fresh air, food and water. Then we look to secure shelter and physical wellbeing. Later still we hope to belong to a community and gain meaningful employment, and then a sense of self-esteem… But it’s a sequence. Self-esteem is less relevant if you are starving.

The same applies to healing – you need to feel safe (in yourself and in your environment) before you can hope to make progress. Make changes to your surroundings where possible, seek professional advice if required, and work patiently through your anxieties in order to feel safer in life.

[Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs / Pain + fear = chronic pain / The four F-words of trauma / When mindfulness feels risky / Drinking water in slow motion / Anxiety and migraines]

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5. FOCUS ON GRATITUDE

For a long time in my healing journey, I was aiming for “less pain” (or “no pain”). Eventually I realized that my focus was on a negative. Swinging your focus away from a scarcity mindset towards abundancy thinking unlocks a powerful shift. It helps you focus on something bigger, beyond yourself, and makes it much harder to get caught up in your own woe-is-me’s.

Energy flows where attention goes.

About two years ago, I started intentionally practicing gratitude. Instead of waking up and raging against the relentless pain, I would get out of bed, look out the window, and no matter how sick I felt, I would say thanks: “thank you for the rain that watered the garden overnight / for my family who I can hear downstairs / for the roof over my head / for being able to stand up / for the gift of another new day”.

If you do this often enough, your heart starts to grow with a new contentment, and you will start to want to become part of the wider world again. It gets much harder to feel sorry for yourself… harder to give up.

Life with a chronic illness is difficult – certainly – but there is also a lot you can still be grateful for that makes it worth your efforts to keep helping yourself and others.

[Don’t hit the pole / Generosity rather than gratitude / Is it OK to feel sorry for yourself? / Bedroom basics for pain-isolation]

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6. DECREASE THE NEGATIVITY IN YOUR LIFE

It’s time to detoxify your life. It doesn’t matter how many minutes of meditation you do each morning, if your partner is cruel or your boss is a nightmare. If your house is a moldy-mess and your friends are dismissive of your efforts, it’s going to be harder to heal.

From a health point of view, it’s also important to ask yourself honestly if you have developed any bad habits that might be holding you back. Lack of regular sleep? A fast-food diet? Overusing social media? An addiction to stimulants? A sedentary lifestyle? Doom scrolling on your mobile phone?

In order to give yourself the best possible chance to heal you want your whole life to be as healthy as possible. As much as you are able, remove the things that might trigger a health setback. This counts for every aspect of your life: physically, emotionally, socially, creatively and spiritually.

Ask yourself, over and over – what in my life doesn’t bring me bliss or a healthy version of joy? What can I do to reduce the negatives, pause them for the time being, or eliminate them altogether?

[The dangers of doomscrolling / The art of critical ignoring / Are you feeling paingry? / Migraines in the Matrix / The 7 types of rest]

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7. INCREASE YOUR POSITIVITY

At the same time as you are trying to minimize the negatives in your life, start trying to boost the number of positives. What makes you smile? People, places, objects, activities? How can you introduce more of those smiley-moments into your life?

Sometimes, it’s not even about making changes – it’s about changing your awareness. Look for the good things that surround you, moment to moment. Create a list, take photos, journal about them, make up a song you can sing to yourself about all of your favorite things…

In the same way that gratitude practice makes your heart grow, increasing your positivity will improve your mindset. (And no, after 4 years of almost daily migraine pain I am absolutely not ignoring how truly miserable chronic illness is or pretending that the mantra ‘cheer up’ is particularly helpful). By regularly using the power of positivity we really do improve our inner-strength, our resilience, our conviction, our self-worth, our desire to keep going and keep growing.

Life is good – you got this!

Here’s the made-up-song I have whisper-sung to myself on and off over the years to keep me going:

[2026 is going to be great / The power of positivity / Glimmers versus triggers / 3 little piggies and a migraine]

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OK, so this post got a bit longer than I anticipated, but I can not emphasize enough how important these 7 steps are. Once you are underway, you’re going to exponentially increase the benefits you receive from all the mindfulness practices on this blog, your medications, any alternative healing approaches you try and every other change you start to implement in your life.

Onwards and upwards peeps – you’re amazing!

Take care taking care, Linda xx

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PS – Disclaimer – remember that advice on this blog does is no substitute for the information you will receive from a trained professional – please be sure to reach out to your local healthcare workers for information that is tailored to your individual needs. Best wishes, L